He's not gay, he's CANADIAN!

Yes, I actually said that last night. My StudMuffin and I were catching up on some shows on my DVR, including a 2-week old episode of "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip." Upon seeing Matthew Perry, who I find entertaining, my StudMuffin insisted he was gay...to which I replied, "He's not gay, he's Canadian!"

Now, it is true that my StudMuffin does have some Chandler issues, but he's not the first person I've met who confused being Canadian with being gay. Why is this? I mean, I understand that Canada is a vast mystery to Americans but I do have a couple good friends who just happen to be Canadian and, other than the fact that one says "yaaaaa-hoo" for yahoo and the other just has a tendency for mispronounciations in general, they are normal (relatively).

So, I'm starting to put a list here of Canadian things that perplex us Americans. Feel free to join in:
- The whole "ou" thing "I chased the moose about the house" is not suppose to rhyme.
- Poutine. Why would anyone eat anything that looked like that?
- Why do they have the queen on their money?
- Kilometers. Really, get with the program (and that goes for you too, Southern Arizona!)
- The whole French thing. That is so 18th century.
- Mounties. Really, could you call your police force something a bit funnier?

Don't get me wrong...I'm not anti Canada. There are many things about Canada I like (my Canadian friends, Matthew Perry, Mike Myers, Anne of Green Gables, Margaret Atwood and, of course, the BareNaked Ladies), but what is up with Canada?

And, a bit of Matthew Perry:
I was the coolest kid of the non-cool crowd.

A note, before I publish this and people start yelling at me. Okay, so Matthew Perry is only sort of Canadian. He was born in Massachusetts (but we won't hold it against him) and raised in Canada. Close enough, after all, we all consider Mel Gibson and Nicole Kidman to be Aussies, don't we?