Revolutions 101: What not to do

Yes, everybody, today is the anniversary of the beginning of one of the biggest fiascos in history, the French Revolution. 217 years ago, French peasants decided that the best way to overthrow their government was to storm the Bastille and release all the rapists and axe murderers. This led to:

• Everyone being able to eat cake
• Everyone getting their heads chopped off (which, actually, was not a new thing in France. They'd been doing it forever--it's just this time they had a fun new gadget for it)
• The ascent of the worst case of short-guy syndrome EVER
• The worst real estate deal in history. Okay, it was the worst deal in history for France. The US did pretty well on it, actually. That, however, is for another post (which I promise will not be nearly as snarky as this one!)
• A book by Charles Dickens, which I've never actually read
• And, soon to come, a reportedly horrendous Sophia Coppola movie starring Kirsten Dunst.

So, go ahead! Celebrate! Go home and stuff yourself with raw steak and snails sauteed in garlic.

Okay, maybe not.