The past bites you in the tush again...

First off, don't go looking for a lot of juicy details here. I've posted them in forums where I was either guaranteed anonymity or where I knew my comments would only be read by those who knew me well enough that , if they were to judge me, would do so behind my back where I wouldn't have to know it. While I have gotten to know some of you who drop by to see what's going on in my little corner of the universe--and I've known some of you before FIGURE IT OUT ever came into being--I have a feeling that there are more of you than I know about. I mean, look at the little map thingie. Someone from GREENLAND has been here! Mr./Ms. Greenland--if you are here, let me know...I've never met anyone from Greenland!

But I digress. Here's what happened in the most basic terms possible. I ran into someone I hadn't seen for a while. This person is someone from a time in my life when I was very unhappy and hurt. This person is not, by any means, a bad person. S/he is actually a very nice person. In fact, I wish I had been much nicer to him/her several years ago.

Unfortunately, seeing this person brought back things that had nothing to do with him/her. All of a sudden, I feel a bit miserable. It's not like I'm going to slit my wrists or even crawl into bed for the rest of the day. But, if there was a time machine parked outside, I'd jump in it, go back a few years and do some things differently.

I know that I'm a much better person than I was then. I'm older, have more life experience, am no longer a member of the walking wounded and have some form of direction in my life (the lack of that some years ago is part--only part--of what lead me into my "bad state" when I hurt this person).

It doesn't help that if looks could kill I'd have a tag on my toe right now.

I don't regret the demise of the relationship with this person, although I still--years later!--hate how it ended. I actually ran into this person about two years ago and was tempted to try to make things right at the moment. A friend who was with me told me not to. She said, and she was right, that it wouldn't really help. No, I wouldn't feel better and this person--who, that time, didn't even see me--would be hurt.

I guess it's something along the lines of Karma. Beware of your actions--they can come back and bite you in the ass.

But, I mean it...if you are reading this from Greenland, let me know!