Move over Elaine, "spongeworthy" is out

One of the many cultural gems that the sitcom Seinfeld left us was the idea that our dates must be "spongeworthy." For those of you who are just emerging after 15 years in the biosphere, this is the genesis of this idea.

Elaine's favorite form of contraception was the sponge. Unfortunately, at some point during the eighties or nineties--or, more importantly, during the run of Seinfeld the FDA pulled the contraceptive sponge. Upon hearing this, Elaine began buying up all the contraceptive sponges she could find, but she was still stuck with a finite supply. So, her dates had a new criteria to pass....were they "spongeworthy"?

Classic Seinfeld stuff, but the idea is true. Single women are no longer faced with the question of whether or not their dates are "spongeworthy." No, we have a far greater question to ask.

Are they gas-worthy?

With gas prices soon to exceed $3.00 a gallon....FOR REGULAR...this is a big question. I just spent over $20 to fill up my tank that was only half empty. Driving, and therefore going out to meet people, has become very expensive!

So, when I go through the online dating sites or meet new men, I have to ask myself...is he gas-worthy? Really! I mean, do I want to drive out to Gresham--which would equate to at least $15 for a guy I'm not that excited about? Is Mr. Wonderful worth a $45 tank of gas?

Now, for you guys, there is hope. You can work around the gas-worthy issue. If I can get to where we're meeting without driving, you have a far better chance of avoiding the gas-worthy quiz (for now). One of the few good things about the Portland Metro area is that we do have a fairly good public transit system. And I live within walking distance of a MAX stop. Of course, if you live in Wilsonville or Milwaukie or the Couv (why, why, why would you live in the Couv????), you may have to work a little harder.

So, here's what you can do. YOU CAN DRIVE! I don't have expensive tastes--I'll take Nicholas's over Higgins. But you can put that extra $80 I just saved you into your gas tank and come pick me up and drive me home. And, you know what? I'm a horrible driver so you are actually doing a service to society in keeping me in the passenger's seat!

Okay, Mr. Wonderful...if you want to meet me somewhere, it had better be close to the MAX (and in broad daylight) or you'd better be a dream come true because it is a high bar to become gas-worthy.