Guilty Pleasures

I'm not a television watcher. In fact, one of my email signatures is, "Cinema is art, Theater is life, Television is Furniture." And one thing that I especially hate on television is reality tv. I watched the first few seasons of Survivor before I realized that whole show was meant to bring out the worst in people. The Bachelor/The Bachelorette feeds on idea that those of us who are single are desperate. And Fear Factor doesn't deserve comment.

However, there is one reality show that I do watch. In fact, I want to be on it. It's The Amazing Race. For a while, I couldn't figure out why I loved this show and hated the others--then I figured it out. The point of The Amazing Race is to not get eliminated and then finish the last leg in first place. That's it. For those of you not familiar with this show, it's made up of 11 teams of two people who have a "pre-existing relationship." Yes, there is drama on it but it isn't fabricated by the show. Instead, the racers just have to get from point A to point B, where they meet up with Phil, who is far hotter than the Survivor dude.

So, my problem is that I need to find someone who will do this with me. I have one friend who offered, but he's Canadian and therefore ineligible (and, frankly, I'd kill him). I have two other friends who also offered but, frankly, if I want to go on this show, I at least want to be competitive. And, honestly, I only have 3 criteria for my Amazing Race partner:

1. They must know how to drive a stick shift
2. They must be willing to eat gross stuff
3. They must not make me want to kill them

That's pretty much it. I think I've found a good candidate in #5, but I'm not sure he's interested. The fact that he doesn't watch The Amazing Race does not bode well for his potential participation. Also, his whole life is scheduled around his daughters' softball schedules and that's usually when they tape The Amazing Race. Well, so much for that.

My other option is to post a personal ad. I think it will go like this:

Single White Female ISO Male. Must be willing to make a one-year commitment to the relationship. Also must know how to drive a stick shift, be willing to try exotic cuisine and have a calm demeanor. Valid passport is required.

Well, maybe not.

I guess I'll have to find some other way to seek out adventure. And, no, I'm not going on Survivor. Ever.

But if the dating scene stays dry, I may end up on The Bachelor.