Anything but a dedicated follower of fashion

So, as I went to the local one-stop shopping mecca to do my weekly grocery shopping, I decided to take a tour through the women's clothing department. I have some money in my clothing budget and, while I don't need anything, I could always use something new.

May I ask who it is that decides what's going to be in fashion? All I saw where beaded tops and ruffled skirts that looked like leftovers from Woodstock. Really, is dressing like Jan Brady the new fashion statement?

I will say that I have seen nothing like this on What Not To Wear, the end-all, be-all of attainable fashion. And Eddie Bauer still seems to be in the realm of flattering, but everywhere else it's a flashback to The Partridge Family.

And why is fashion so important? I understand the Stacy and Clinton philosophy that if you look good in your clothes you will actually feel better. I believe that! But why is it that we are all supposed to follow some trend started by who knows whom (or what!)?

Queen Elizabeth I was the first fashion pioneer in that she used fashion to her advantage. As the female head of a state run by males, she not only had to show she had balls while being the best looking chickie in the room. Now, Lizzie was a smart lady and realized that her male advisors were only part of her problem. Her other problem was her court of ladies in waiting. Women who are stuck in a group without anything to do will become trouble-makers, we all know this. So, Lizzie decided she would give them something to do.

As the highest ranking woman in the country, she was the ultimate top model. So, she just made sure that she changed fashion often enough that her ladies in waiting were spending all their time trying to keep their clothes, hair, jewelry and make-up current and, therefore, had no time to do all those catty things that women are known to do.

Here's my question: Does whoever is deciding where fashion goes really think that I am that blessed with free time, not to mention funds, to keep up with this? Frankly, I don't care if everyone is dressed in peasant skirts and beaded tank-tops. I'm perfectly happy in my Eddie Bauer duds that I've had for years. And, when I do buy new clothes, you can bet your bottom dollar that it won't be on anything you could find in Jan Brady's closet!