Figure it out

Oh the nerve!

2007-11-27T12:24:00.001-08:00

So, I started building a blog over at wordpress and, lo and behold, some person has already named a blog "Figure It Out." The nerve! And, of course, I had to run off to a meeting in a few minutes and needed to come up with something quickly--the best I could do is Mindless Meanderings. Don't ask me where that came from except it's a nice way of saying I babble too much (which I do).

There are a few of my favorite links over there now and I'll be adding more as I have time. This page will still be here but I will no longer be updating it. So, you'll have to make an extra click or update your favorites to find me from now on.....such is life!

I think I'm going to move...

2007-11-27T09:47:00.000-08:00

Well, I think I'm going to move this blog over to wordpress. I've been reading a couple of other blogs over there and, frankly, I'm far more impressed with wordpress than with blogger. Plus, as much as I like Gmail, the omnipresent nature of Google is starting to scare me. In another five years, I fear the world will be controlled by Google, Starbucks and Warren Buffett (if it isn't already!)

If you're reading this, then you ain't dumb!

2007-11-15T16:01:00.001-08:00

Get a Cash Advance

Rare Political Post

2007-11-08T13:06:00.000-08:00

What I'm about to say may actually lead some members of my family to disinherit me (or something like that because, frankly, I don't think my mother would be too upset about this and the guberif doesn't know how to turn a computer on! There are some others, though, who will think I'm crazy....), but I think I like Ron Paul. I probably won't vote for him since:
1 - I live in Oregon and we don't have our primaries until AFTER the presidential election. And, even if we were in the same decade as the rest of the country, I'm a non-affiliated voter and therefore can't vote in the primaries.
2 - There is no chance he'd get the nomination because he doesn't walk the walk or talk the talk the way the party wants him too.

But still, I like him. I had never heard of him until he was on The Colbert Report and, in addition to speaking his mind no matter what the Republican party says, he was really goofy. And I like goofy people. Although I really don't like Goofy because, well, dogs shouldn't wear pants.

Color Distortion

2007-11-05T16:13:00.000-08:00

I was over at Jessica's page and saw her post about these lovely markers. Am I wrong to find this a little ridiculous.

I mean, when I was in school, all my stick figures were drawn with black crayon--which I guess means they were black. Except for the face, of course, which was whatever color the paper was.

The truth is, I didn't really care about drawing people--I liked to draw things like cats, trees, houses, suns, clouds, fish, etc. And, frankly, none of these multicultural colors would have done me a lick of good.

BUT...let's say I was a politically correct grade schooler and wanted to draw "multicultural" people. The thing is, I'm pretty sure all these colors are included in the 64-color box of crayons, so why have them? And, no, the color that most matched my skin was not called "caucasian." (Actually, I can't remember what it was called, but I my guess is it was something like pale peach or some other non-offensive name like that).

I think the intent of teaching multiculturalism in the schools is to show kids that all people deserve respect--and I don't think these markers are doing that.

Stepping off the soap box....

Oh yes, forgot to mention....

2007-11-05T13:12:00.000-08:00

The Amazing Race is back and it looks like this race might actually be a good one. Goths, lesbians and grandparents...can't beat that. Oh, except for the part where the guy who says, "Karma's a bitch, but I'm a bigger bitch" is the first one eliminated. This is going to be a GREAT season!

So much for NaBloPoMo

2007-11-05T13:01:00.000-08:00

Yep, missed two days. I guess that means I'm a NaBloPoMo failure. But, the thing is, I was out of town and really didn't have that much to post. Posting regularly is great if you have something to say, but I really haven't had that much to say so I might as well not waste the bandwidth.

Or I could post silly quiz results like this one:

Your Inner Child Is Happy

You see life as simple, and simple is a very good thing.
You're cheerful and upbeat, taking everything as it comes.
And you decide not to worry, even when things look bad.
You figure there's just so many great things to look forward to.

How Is Your Inner Child?

To be or not to be....at work on Friday

2007-11-02T15:30:00.000-07:00

I'm most likely going to shift to working part-time soon so that I can go back to school. I've decided to fulfill my lifelong ambition of becoming a teacher. Yes, I know most people's life-long ambitions are to be astronauts or presidents or whatnot but, frankly, I just don't aim that high. In any case, I have about 9 pre-requisite classes I need to take before I can enter a M.Ed program. To make it slightly more difficult, I can't take more than 8 credits at a university per term without enrolling (and, since I'm just doing pre-requisites right now, there isn't a program into which I can enroll!) There are a few classes I can take at a community college, but that only helps a little bit since 3 of the 4 classes I'll be taking at the community college have to be taken in sequence.

Oh well, credit hours is not what this post is about. It's about whether or not I should work on Fridays. I do want to have "regular" hours, so I was thinking I would work 4 hours a day every day. But, since I've realized that nothing happens in the office on Fridays, I'm now thinking Monday, Tuesday and Thursday mornings and all day Wednesdays and, yes, Fridays off.

Yes, that's sounds quite good!

Oh so cool!

2007-11-02T10:58:00.000-07:00

Look over to the right side of the page and go down to the bottom of the links. See that? It's site meter and it's oh so cool!

I guess I'm one of those people who is easily impressed by things like that, what can I say?

What month is it?

2007-11-01T10:24:00.000-07:00

Apparently, November is the wrong answer. Apparently, the right answer is.....

NaBloPoMo

What the h-e-double-hockey-sticks is that, you ask? It's National Blog Posting Month. I guess I have to post something on all my blogs every days this month. I don't know if that's possible, but I'm game. I'm sure my Studmuffin will remind me if I fall short of this....

I must think of something worthwhile to post here other than that I have rediscovered the magic of frozen fun-size milky ways....

...and we only had 5 trick-or-treaters.....

...and I hate Macy's......

....and there comes a point when you are just too old to dress up for Halloween at work (unless you work in IT....)

Hey, I think I went to this party!

2007-10-31T13:02:00.001-07:00

I found this on another blog...not Halloweeny, but a great laugh for a Wednesday!

Things that make you go "hmmmm": Stalking

2007-10-23T09:29:00.001-07:00

So, I logged onto MSNBC this morning and came across this story which, well, made me go "Hmmm." Stalking is crazy in any sense and, granted, the guy is a good writer. But, let's face it, he isn't exactly Russell Crowe or George Clooney.

Frankly, I think you life has hit a new low when you become the obsessive fan of a public radio personality.

I'm baaack!!!!

2007-10-15T21:54:00.000-07:00

Yes, girls and boys, I'm back from Europe!

I won't go into all the details, but here are my short thoughts and impressions on Europe:

Travel light! My Studmuffin and I took Rick Steves "convertable" bags--which are large backpacks that are just small enough to be carry-on luggage. I may never check luggage again! Really, you don't need that many clothes.
Norway is the perfect place to visit: It's spectacularly beautiful, it's clean, it's safe, the people are friendly and EVERYONE speaks fluent English. The only problem is that it's BY FAR the most expensive place on the planet. $30 for a hamburger?????
Germany is cool, but there is still a clear difference between East and West. However, the beer is cheaper than water....
Rome, Rome, Rome. I love Rome! But I will NEVER go back to Rome in October. We stood in line for an hour and a half to get into the Vatican Museum! And then we were carried through on a tsunami of tour groups! Our next trip to Rome will be during some February! My one tip, though: Get the Roma Pass...it will save you probably 2 hours at the Colliseum alone!
Greece: All the cool ancient Greek stuff is in Rome. True. But, they do have very well-fed and friendly stray cats.

It's official!

2007-09-17T11:29:00.000-07:00

I'm Mrs. Studmuffin!

And now I'm running away for a while. I'll see you in Mid-October!

Things that make you go..."Whaaa?"

2007-09-11T23:09:00.000-07:00

So, my Studmuffin are here watching "Weddings from Hell." Admittedly, this is probably not the best show for two people to watch 4 days before their wedding but that's not the strangest part.

It's sponsored by eHarmony.

Go figure.

It hurts WHERE?

2007-09-03T22:37:00.000-07:00

So, yesterday, 3 of my very, very good friends (only slightly tongue in cheek!) through me a bachelorette party. While it was supposed to be a surprise, circumstances arose that led the Good Doctor to fess up to her plans beforehand. So, what did we do?

Well, brunch at a gay bar. Excuse me, brunch at a DJ-ed gay bar. Although I have to wonder a bit about it...how many gay bar DJ's do not have a copy of "Dancing Queen"? I will say, it was one of the best brunches I've ever had, gay bar or not. They even had a self-service cornbread and toast station--I should take my Studmuffin there as he loves cornbread. However, I doubt he'll be too keen on the gay bar aspect of the place.

Then what...well, we all headed out for....are you ready for it?....STRIPPER LESSONS! Okay, maybe "exotic dancing" is more accurate as none of our clothes went flying across the room. But I was forced to wear some pretty frightening drag queen shoes (I think I was about 6' 3" in them).

I will say, though, it was fun. The 3-4 drinks I had before that may have made it a bit more fun, but what can you expect from a bachelorette party? I don't think I ever got the "sexy look" down as every time I tried, I burst out laughing (I'd like to blame that on the drinks as well).

The sad thing is, though, that I'm really sore today. Where am I sore? I guess it's a testament to the money I've put forth for personal training that my limbs and abs are fine. No, I've got sore knees. Actually, the backs of my knees are sore. Why? Well, apparently, one must wear knee pads when stripping and, while they do protect your knee caps, they are can cut off your circulation.

So, this leads me to wonder...if strippers need to wear knee pads, how exactly do they get them off during a routine? Seriously...getting those things off is not a graceful process? Oh well, I'm pretty sure that's something I won't ever figure out!

I'm going to be around for a LOOOOONG time

2007-08-28T12:11:00.000-07:00

I found this link over on Evel Squirrel's page...

It appears my life expectancy is 91.9 years. Even better, my "real age" is 15.1 years. It looks like my Studmuffin is getting his trophy wife after all!

Tough Decisions....

2007-08-26T21:52:00.000-07:00

My Studmuffin is watching one of the Lord of the Rings movies right now (I'm not sure which and I really don't care) and I just can't decide:

Orlando Bloom: Hotter as an elf or a pirate? I just can't decide.

Personal confession time

2007-08-24T12:37:00.000-07:00

Remember that horrible movie The Bodyguard? There are usually 2 things about that movie that sticks in people's minds:
1 - The review of the movie from Entertainment Weekly: "It's like watching two statues trying to mate."
2 - "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston.

I think most people can agree that Whitney Houston has quite the set of pipes on her and she did a great job with that song, even though it suffered from gross overplay on the airwaves. What some people may not know is that Dolly Parton wrote that song and, before Whitney made it into a huge pop hit, Dolly took it to country radio.

I had to run into the a local bookstore today to pick up some cards for work and Dolly Parton's version of the song was playing. Sad, but true...I really prefer Dolly's saccharine, syrupy version of that song to Whitney's. I don't know why...it's just the way it is.

I'm going to be in SO much trouble for posting this...

2007-08-23T14:42:00.001-07:00

But, Scott asked for it, so here it is:
University of Washington -- #42
(which is below William and Mary, but above, um, some other schools.)

Don't _______ and Drive

2007-08-22T08:41:00.000-07:00

You got to hand it to celebrities....they are entertaining. Yes, there are loads of Linsday Lohan's, Paris Hilton's a Nicole Richie's who seem to be compulsive drunk drivers (and that is a bad thing). But, every once in a while, there comes a celebrity that makes you want to go, "Whaaaa?"

I ran across this one today. Tiger Woods had best stay away from Sweden for his own personal safety.

But, truly, nothing compares to Patrick Swayze. When I was 13, I thought he was just the coolest thing EVER! Little did I know that just 13 years after that, he would be accused of....drunk flying.

So, boys and girls, don't drink and get in a non-car vehicle. You may end up looking like a washed up celebrity.

How'd the old place do?

2007-08-17T10:31:00.000-07:00

Well, US News and World Report published it's annual list of the best universities. Good ole Bill and Mary placed at #33, which I think is about where it was last year. I may get in great trouble for saying this, but it TOTALLY STOMPED ALL OVER STUDMUFFIN'S ALMA MATER, which showed up at #118 (hey, at least it made the list!)

I do think, though, that this list might be completely full of crap. I know people who have gone to (and graduated) from schools ranked #1-32 and, frankly, I think some of them lost out on their education. But, even more proof, and far less subjective on my part, is the "Best Values" list. Here are the top 10 "Best Value" schools:
1 - Harvard
2 - Princeton
3 - Yale
4. CalTech
5. MIT
6. Stanford
7. Dartmouth
8. Columbia
9. UNC - Chapel Hill
10. Duke

So, under the best values, 9 of the top 10 schools (I'm guessing that UNC-Chapel Hill is probably reasonably priced) are the 9 most expensive schools to attend? How is that a best value? And, frankly, how much did the Boards of Visitors pay US News and World Report to put them on the list?

They aren't as beautiful as they look

2007-08-17T09:23:00.000-07:00

They say the beautiful people live in Hollywood, but they may not be as beautiful as you might think. I ran across this site that does photo "touch ups" for celebrities. Go to their "Portfolio" page and take a look. Choose a beatiful person and click on their thumbnail. Once the photo is loaded, run your mouse over it and see how the picture really looks.

Musings from about town

2007-08-15T13:51:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, while driving home, I heard a familiar voice on the radio. A few years ago, I would listen to a local commercial station in the mornings. Part of their morning show was Chuck Knopf, who was the traffic guy and "straight man" to the other two DJ's. When the radio station was purchased by a large national broadcasting company, Chuck Knopf left--I'm not sure if it was his choice or the company's.

Anyway, I was listening to NPR on the drive home and, during the afternoon commute, they frequently break away for local news and traffic. And who else would be manning Oregon Public Broadcasting but Chuck Knopf! Admittedly, he has more vocal "spring in his step" than most Public Radio broadcasters, but it was good to hear him again.

Speaking of news, I think The Oregonian is getting very, very desperate. They've taken to sensationalist headlines for non-news. For example, this morning they lead with the magnitude 3 hurricane that did not hit Hawaii. Their headline? "Hurricanes Hawaii Style" with a picture of people sitting on lawn chairs on the beach wearing Hawaiian print shirts. Yeah, whatever....

I think there should be a rule about how long something must exist before it can claim it's existence. Let me explain....

My parents live in a town outside of Tucson and, going into the town, there is a sign saying, "Welcome to .....; Established 1991." 1991? Does that even count as a town yet? Yesterday, I was walking up to the DMV and mosied past an apartment building that had a plaque embedded in the wall right next to its Starbucks. It said, "The Essex House, 1992." You know, being an apartment building with a Starbucks that happened to be built 15 years ago does not qualify it as a historical landmark!

Will work for 80,000 airline miles

2007-08-09T13:56:00.000-07:00

So, I'm currently working myself into a little tizzy about our upcoming trip to Europe and the crappy Continental planes we are flying on. Here are the details:

Seat width = 17.2 inches. Our admin, who is a tiny little thing, measured this out and stated that she would not be able to sit comfortably in these seats. Neither myself nor my Studmuffin qualify as "tiny little things." Also, this is .3 inches smaller than the seats my Studmuffin was complaining about when he went to India this past Spring.

Seat pitch = 31 inches. "Seat pitch" is the distance between seat back to seat back. In other words, it's the distance between rows. Basically this means that the person sitting in front of me had better not put their seat back or else!

I was worried about this and had time to kill, so I gave Continental a call to see how much it would cost to upgrade our seats to business class. We paid $2000 for our seats and it would cost an additional $6000 for us to upgrade to business! That's 3 times what we have already paid! You have GOT to be kidding me!

Of course, if we had 80,000 OnePass miles, we could upgrade for free. Yeah, whatever!

Anyone have some Continental miles they need to get rid of?

Airline woes....

2007-08-03T09:15:00.001-07:00

So, I found this article yesterday...basically saying how to "politely" recline your seat on an airline. Now, I'm one of these people who will only recline my seat in one of two situations:
1 - There is no one sitting behind me
2 - The person behind me has their seat reclined way back into the lap of the person behind them.

Now, admittedly, that may change next month. I found this site which told me that my Studmuffin and I are in for some very excrutiatingly uncomfortable flights next month when we go to Europe (thanks so much, Continental Arlines! Ugh!). Which, of course, bring to the point that there wouldn't be this problem if airlines were actually interested in their passengers' comfort rather than the ability to sandwich us in like sardines.

But, I did come up with a possible solution, which I think might actually be possible. Instead of having the seat backs recline, why not have the seats themselves slide forward? True, this would still lead to the dreaded knee-crunching, but at least it would be the knees of the reclinee and not MY knees!

Just one article today....

2007-07-30T10:01:00.000-07:00

...Because, really, this article is enough for one day. In fact, just the first paragraph is enough for one day (at least I hope so because, honestly, I didn't read past the first paragraph). Just to put it in perspective, this was the leading story on MSNBC.com today! I would say "Enjoy!" but that first paragraph is a bit too disturbing for that.....

Too busy watching Hugh Grant movies and fighting a bad case of the one-day allergies to do much else this weekend...oh well!

Found it! Cats and Rats!

2007-07-26T12:15:00.001-07:00

Here is the article I was looking for!

Switching over to dogs, this one made me cry a bit.

And here is a nice cat and dog story.

I always said Emma, my parent's cat is fat, but she's not this fat.

Apparently, I'm just in an animal-loving mood lately, as all the good stories seem to be about animals. Which reminds me, I should post another Carmel pic here soon. Hmmm, maybe this weekend.

By the way, does anyone have any sure-fire tips for relieving sore muscles? I started up with a personal trainer and it has been EXCRUTIATING! Ugh. If it means pain, I'm not sure I need the gain!

Before I go, I found this. Enjoy!

The fact checkers must be out on their smoke break

2007-07-25T17:03:00.000-07:00

I was looking for a specific story to post here about cats playing with rats to prepare rats for landmine hunting (there were 3 cat stories on msnbc today--I thought that would make a nice little vignette!). In searching for that third story, I found this instead.

It's a fairly nice article about the company I work for--I normally wouldn't name the company, but this is important--Portland General Electric--taking out some old dams. The only problem is that MSNBC doesn't seem to know the difference between Portland General Electric and General Electric--two companies that are not at all related. The article goes so far as to put in a disclaimer saying we own MSNBC. Ha ha ha! Egg on your face, MSNBC!

I still can't find the cat and rat story, but there is this spooky/comforting cat story. Of course, if I were about to cross into the great unknown, I think the last thing I would want is a snuggle from a kitty!

MSNBC does have a slide show, which I don't know how to link here, of celebrity mug shots. How come most of them (notable exceptions being James Browne and Nick Nolte--who just look messed up) look like they came from photobooths instead of police stations?

Today's McNews

2007-07-24T09:05:00.001-07:00

You know, blogging is so much easier when you just report on stuff you read elsewhere!

Anyhoo, here we go.

Kudos to my Mariners, they may be losing to crappy teams like the Blue Jays and the Rangers right now, but they've gone high-tech.

Drew Carey wants you to spay and neuter your pets.

More proof that people are just stupid sometimes.

Oh crap, one more thing I can't drink. Why is it that it seems like the only beverage that won't kill you is alcohol?

The news (and a realization)

2007-07-23T08:58:00.000-07:00

I think I must actually be a grown up. I've had the Harry Potter book for almost 48 hours and I'm only on page 78. And I'm okay with that. Scary!

Anyway, it's Monday and the procrastination has begun. Here are some tidbits from the news:

I've always tried to put my finger one why I like MSNBC.com and today I figured out why. They've been the only news outlet to post this story, which really needs to be told. I'm just trying to figure out a way to send this to a few people in my office.

One of my fave new actresses it Maggie Gyllenhall...now I like her even more.

My Studmuffin and I were having a heated discussion (we were both on the same side of the argument, so it was an interestingly heated discussion) about the misuse of farm subsidies. Today I find this.

Must read for all cat owners (that includes YOU, Mr. Studmuffin...I told you the covered litterbox was a bad idea!)

To believe or not to believe....

2007-07-20T14:31:00.001-07:00

So, I found an old (old, as in from March) survey Newsweek had done that asked people about, among other things, what they believed was the origin on human beings. They were given 4 options:
God guided the evolutionary process leading to the modern human
God had no part in the evolutionary process leading to the modern human
God created humans in their present form
Don't know.

The responses were then broken up into the following categories:
Evangelical Protestants
Non-Evangelical Protestants
Catholics
Atheist.

First of all, I'm not exactly sure what the difference is between an "Evangelical Protestant" and a "Non-evangelical Protestant" is and, frankly, I could get in a long debate with anyone over this. But, that's not what really confused me.

Apparently, 27% of Atheists believed that God guided the evolutionary process and 13% believe that God created humans in their present form.

Okay, anyone home? Atheists, by definition, atheists do not believe in God. Yet, 27% claim to believe that God guided evolution and 13% believe in creationism. Am I the only person here who finds this odd?

I have to say that this stymies me a bit more than the current pope, who does not believe that the sex abuse by priests in the US actually happened, but thinks that Harry Potter is real. Maybe he needs to meet with the Atheists so they can all straighten out what exactly they believe in.

The Burning Questions....

2007-07-17T09:38:00.000-07:00

My Honorable Friend, who has quite an impressive and high-power job, is a victim of Potter-mania. I can't get on her case too much, since I have a touch of it myself (although both of us are immune from the Guitar Hero addiction, which another friend has--sadly--acquired). Anyhoo, there are, of course, 2 big questions out there.

#1 - Will Harry live or die?
My thoughts: Well, if JK Rowling is smart and serious about not writing an 8th book, she'd be smart to kill off Harry. Look at the example of poor L. Frank Baum. The guy writes a book and it's a hit. So he writes a sequel. After about the 3rd or 4th book, he doesn't want to write any more. Unfortunately, a house didn't fall on dear little Dorothy and Mr. Baum ended up writing Oz books for the rest of his life. Until recently (see below), I was positive that Harry would bite it, but now I'm not so sure.

#2 - Is Snape evil or good?
My thoughts: My honorable friend and I were discussing this just this past weekend. Literary tradition would be that Snape is good. However, while watching the latest Harry Potter movie, my Studmuffin made an observation I missed. "If the prophesy is 'One must die for the other to live,' then it's crap since both Harry and Dumbledore are alive." Hmmm....

So, an alternate theory that popped into my head is that Dumbledore is actually the chosen one and Snape had to kill him for Voldemort to live. Of course, this would mean that Snape is evil, which would be very upsetting to my honorable friend.

As it happens, MSNBC has a rather good article on this as well...read it here.

Oh, it's all fun stuff (unless Harry dies, Snape is evil and Draco is good--in which case my honorable friend might just throw herself off a cliff. That would not be fun....). I just wonder what will occupy the minds and souls of my friends once they finish the final Harry Potter book. I pray that it won't be Guitar Hero.

All-Star MVP....

2007-07-11T12:37:00.001-07:00

It looks like the MVP All-Star is not a D-back, a ChiSox or a Twinkie. I think a bit of gloating is due on my part!

MSNBC Musings

2007-07-10T11:45:00.000-07:00

First off, I probably won't have a chance to post regularly until after mid-October, so emails wondering if I'm still alive need not be sent! I will try to post now and then....as for now:

I finally finished my daily scan of MSNBC and here's some news that caught my eye:

The pope wants to continue talking to non-Catholics, even though he thinks we are all going to burn in hell. And they wonder why Catholic churches are empty on Sundays.

To my honorable friend, Ron Weasley shares my final HP prediction. Ha! We shall see who is right, who is dead and who is evil in less than 2 weeks!

Hmm, how can you tell if a self-proclaimed habitual liar is telling the truth when he says he's a liar?

Holy Crap....Vermont? What about the real Springfield? (I'm not exactly a Simpsons watcher, but I must decry injustice when I see it!)

New stuff

2007-06-04T16:46:00.000-07:00

I've been absent lately, it's true. Most of that is because work has been busy and, when I'm not working, the weather has been nice.

But, there has been some other things going on. Most importantly...I am now the future Mrs. Studmuffin! Hooray! If you want the details on the wedding, email me as it is far too personal an occasion to put out on the web for just anyone to see.

However, what I have learned in the past few days is that there are times when the advice door seems to open. By that I mean, there are certain circumstances (an engagement being one) when anyone and everyone feels that it is their duty to impart their knowledge onto you. I appreciate it, I really do, but in the best advice I've gotten so far is, "Listen to what people say, but do what you want." You gotta love that!

Another field trip.....

2007-05-21T16:24:00.000-07:00

YouTube pulled the link from the earlier video that I had here, but it's back! Enjoy!

Because you needed to know...the rest of the questions

2007-05-18T08:44:00.000-07:00

Well, it looks like we may have come to the end of these silly candidate questionaires...I just found a list of all the questions and answers, only a few of which I've posted here. So, here's the rest! I've taken off the ones I've already posted about, so you'll have to read farther down to see them. One note...the book question was actually, "What was the last work of fiction that you read?" This explains the answers by the Democrats who said they were reading the Republican budget plan and the Republicans who were reading An Inconvenient Truth. It also shows that, once again, Hillary Clinton doesn't know what she's talking about. Her selection, Team of Rivals, is non-fiction. Sigh!

Anyway, here it goes:
DEMOCRATS
BIDEN
Alternate career choice: Architect.
Favorite food to cook: Pasta.
Yep, just boil water. Hard stuff
Desert island necessity: "Jill, my wife."
Aw, that's sweet
Favorite reality TV program: "Don't have one."
Worst habit: "Too many to list. :)"
"Sleeping-in" time: 8:30-9 a.m.
Reasonable
Hidden talent: "Designing homes."
When he doesn't get the nomination, just look for his new show on HGTV
Last music purchase: "My sister's playlist."
Cars you drive: 1967 Corvette, a wedding gift from his dad in 1967 when Biden married his first wife, Neilia.
That would be kind of cool...except for his ex-wife thing.
Item that most reminds you of where you came from: "Rosary beads."
A Catholic Orphanage?

CLINTON:
Alternate career choice: "Continue to work for causes and issues I care about, in a setting like a university or foundation."
And, of course, world peace.....
Favorite food to cook: "I'm a lousy cook, but I make pretty good soft scrambled eggs."
Apparently, though, hard scrambled eggs are beyond her abilities
Desert island necessity: "A good book."
Favorite reality TV program: "American Idol."
Can you see Clinton sitting back and watching American Idol? I can....if I think of the other Clinton.
Worst habit: Chocolate.
Chocolate is a food, not a habit.
"Sleeping-in" time: "I feel lucky when I can sleep until 7 a.m."
Hidden talent: "I love crossword puzzles."
Yes, but can you finish them?
Last music purchase: Carly Simon's "Into White."
Cars you drive: "For security reasons, we drive in Secret Service vehicles but the Service lets us use a Ford hybrid when we're home in New York."
Show off.
Item that most reminds you of where you came from: "Olive burgers from the Pickwick in Chicago."
Interesting, I didn't know she was from Chicago. I thought she was from New York...no...Arkansas.....

DODD
Alternate career choice: Teacher.
Very cool
Favorite food to cook: "An August New England dinner: Lobster, corn and tomatoes."
Another reason why I don't like New England.
Desert island necessity: "Coffee with cream and sugar."
So that he can stay awake for the rescue ships....
Favorite reality TV program: "'American Idol,' which I say often reminds me of running for president sometimes."
Hee hee heee....wait...am I Simon? or Paula?
"Sleeping-in" time: "With a 2 year old and a 5 year old?"
Man, this guy has real issues with his kids!
Hidden talent: "Speaking Spanish fluently — I picked it up while in the Dominican Republic as a Peace Corps volunteer."
I was with you up until the Peace Corps part....
Last music purchase: Soundtrack to "Jersey Boys."
Cars you drive: 2007 Ford Escape hybrid, a compact SUV.
Wise answer...a hybrid, which is good for the environment, AND an American car!
Item that most reminds you of where you came from: "New England fall foliage."
Makes sense...he probably enjoys admiring it while cracking open his lobster and spilling its guts all over the table.

EDWARDS
Alternate career choice: Mill supervisor.
Oookay......
Favorite food to cook: Hamburgers.
Man...grills.....
Desert island necessity: "A book."
Favorite reality TV program: College basketball.
At least it isn't the NBA
Worst habit: "Drinking soda."
Apparently Diet Soda can impair your memory....
"Sleeping-in" time: 7 a.m.
Hidden talent: "Jump shot."
Really? I was told White Guys Can't Jump
Last music purchase: U2.
Cars you drive: Ford Escape hybrid. This spring, also reported having a 2004 Chrysler Pacifica midsize SUV and 1994 GMC truck.
Sticking with the American cars again...although isn't Chrysler, like, in the dumps?
Item that most reminds you of where you came from: "Mills."
I guess that explains his first answer.

KUCINICH
Alternate career choice: Astronaut.
And what guy doesn't dream of being an Astronaut?
Favorite food to cook: Hot water, according to his wife, Elizabeth. Doesn't cook. A vegan, he favors fresh fruits and vegetables.
Hee hee hee!
Desert island necessity: His wife.
Aw...that's sweet
Favorite reality TV program: C-SPAN coverage of the U.S. House of Representatives. No time for other TV.
That's, um, really sad!
Worst habit: "Ask my wife, Elizabeth."
Good answer!
"Sleeping-in" time: 8:30 a.m., according to his wife. But bedtime is usually 2 a.m. and the alarm goes off at 6 a.m.
Yeah, not so big on the sleep deprivation thing....
Hidden talent: "Hits just as well against right-handers as left-handers."
And how much baseball do you play?
Last music purchase: Likes Willie Nelson.
On the road again......
Cars you drive: Ford Focus compact.
Item that most reminds you of where you came from: "Compass."
Huh? The item that most reminds you of home is something that helps you get out of places?

OBAMA
Alternate career choice: Architect.
Favorite food to cook: Chili.
This could be dangerous....
Desert island necessity: "Other than my wife and my kids, an inanimate object I would have to have would probably be a good book."
Very well-worded answer....
Favorite reality TV program: "Other than the U.S. Senate on C-SPAN? I don't watch them too often."
Honestly, I think that's even sader than Kucinich.
Worst habit: "Checking my Blackberry."
I thought it would have been "Smoking."
"Sleeping-in" time: 8 a.m.
Hidden talent: "I'm a pretty good poker player."
Let it be known....he can bluff!
Last music purchase: "The latest music purchase would probably be 'Ray' — the soundtrack from the Ray Charles movie."
Cars you drive: Chrysler 300C, a full-size sport-luxury sedan.
What exactly is a "full-size sport-luxury" sedan?
Item that most reminds you of where you came from: "Photograph in my office of the cliffs of Oahu's South Shore, where my mother's ashes are scattered."

RICHARDSON
Alternate career choice: Center field, New York Yankees.
You want to be, um, Johnny Damon?
Favorite food to cook: Diet milkshake.
Okay, by show of hands....who "cooks" their milkshakes? Yeah, didn't think so.
Desert island necessity: "Blackberry and a Davidoff cigar."
Ugh.....
Favorite reality TV program: "Fox News."
Dude, this is a Democrat!
Worst habit: "Straying from my diet."
How about checking your blackberry and smoking cigars?
"Sleeping-in" time: 7 a.m.
Hidden talent: "Boxing trivia."
That must come in handy at cocktail parties....
Last music purchase: George Strait, "50 Number Ones."
Dullest. Singer. Ever.
Cars you drive: "Jeep Wrangler, although my security doesn't like me to drive."
But it looks good in the driveway of the mansion.
Item that most reminds you of where you came from: "Green chili."
___
REPUBLICANS
BROWNBACK
Alternate career choice: Farmer.
He's from Kansas....
Favorite food to cook: Beef.
He's from Kansan....
Desert island necessity: "Tarp."
Actually, that's a good answer.
Favorite reality TV program: "None this season; too busy. Last season it was 'The Amazing Race.'"
I agree, this season's "Amazing Race" was not great. However, I loved the season with the hippies! T-TOW!
Worst habit: "Being late."
"Sleeping-in" time: 7:30 a.m.
And you're still late?
Hidden talent: "Auctioneering. Bull riding (once in college.)."
If you've only done it once, it isn't a talent!
Last music purchase: Christian artist Michael W. Smith.
Dobson, Dobson! Support me!
Cars you drive: Ford Taurus in Washington and Honda Civic hybrid in Kansas.
Item that most reminds you of where you came from: "Wheat."
He's from Kansas....

GIULIANI
Alternate career choice: Sports announcer.
You know, I just can't see that....
Favorite food to cook: Hamburgers or steak on the grill.
Again, real men grill.
Desert island necessity: "Books and music."
Favorite reality TV program: Baseball.
That would be a great answer if he weren't a Yankees fan!
Worst habit: "Talking too much."
Yeah, you're perfect for this job!
"Sleeping-in" time: 8 a.m.
Hidden talent: "Listening."
What? What?
Last music purchase: Verdi's "Macbeth."
Cars you drive: "I don't drive, I navigate."
Is the guy really a man?
Item that most reminds you of where you came from: "My grandfather's pocketwatch."

HUCKABEE
Alternate career choice: Bass guitar player for a touring rock band.
Dude.....
Favorite food to cook: Ribeye steak on the grill.
There it is...grilling again....
Desert island necessity: "Laptop with satellite reception."
Geek....
Favorite reality TV program: "Nashville Star," USA Network's country music competition.
Actually, this show is much better than "American Idol"
Worst habit: "Channel surfing on TV or radio."
(Looking away innocently....)
"Sleeping-in" time: "Five a.m. is late for me. Most days I am up no later than 4:30 a.m."
Sicko.....
Hidden talent: "Voice impersonations of dozens of celebrities."
Now, THIS could be fun!
Last music purchase: Evanescence, the goth rock group from Little Rock, Ark.
Really?
Cars you drive: 2007 Chevrolet Tahoe and 1995 Chevrolet Silverado pickup truck.
Item that most reminds you of where you came from: "Trains. My childhood home was only about 200 yards from the train tracks."
Yes, he grew up in a sports field....

HUNTER
Alternate career choice: Outdoor writer.
Keep reading.....
Favorite food to cook: Chicken fried venison.
Yum?
Desert island necessity: "Mrs. Hunter."
Favorite reality TV program: Watches Versus, previously called the Outdoor Life Network.
Favorite fitness activity: Hunting, fishing and hiking.
Those who can't write, watch.
Worst habit: "Not turning off the Outdoor Life Network (now Versus) before I go to sleep."
All night long....
"Sleeping-in" time: 7:30 a.m.
Hidden talent: "Making rifle scabbards out of leather."
I don't even know what that is!
Last music purchase: Favors country and gospel.
Cars you drive: "Suburban with 274,000 miles on it."
My awesome car has 144,000 on it. I just thought I'd share.
Item that most reminds you of where you came from: "Letters and articles by my Dad written over the past 60 years."
Yessiree, ladies and gentlemen....Davy Crockett!

MCCAIN
Alternate career choice: Foreign service.
Scaring the crap out of nations everywhere....
Favorite food to cook: Baby-back ribs.
I bet they're better than you can get at Applebee's!
Desert island necessity: "Books."
Favorite reality TV program: Arizona Diamondbacks baseball.
Just like my mom. However, they are National League so they aren't real baseball. And they're coached by Bob Melvin.
Worst habit: "Coffee."
Again, "Coffee" is not a habit! "Drinking Coffee" is a habit.....
"Sleeping-in" time: 8 a.m.
Hidden talent: "Barbecue grill chef."
Real men grill!"
Last music purchase: Likes "Sounds Of Summer - The Very Best Of The Beach Boys."
Cars you drive: Cadillac CTS, a midsize luxury sedan.
Item that most reminds you of where you came from: "Enchiladas."
See, as a frequent visitor to Arizona, I would have said Burritos. Or Prickly Pears. Oh well.

ROMNEY
Alternate career choice: Auto company chief executive.
Also referred to as "unemployed"
Favorite food to cook: Hot dog.
45 seconds in the microwave....
Desert island necessity: "My wife, Ann."
Favorite reality TV program: "American Idol."
I'm seeing a pattern here....
Worst habit: "Fidgeting."
"Sleeping-in" time: 7 a.m.
Hidden talent: "Singing."
Why don't you just keep that talent hidden, okay?
Last music purchase: "Selection of Roy Orbison songs from iTunes."
I actually kind of like Roy Orbison....
Cars you drive: 2005 Ford Mustang convertible.
Item that most reminds you of where you came from: "Family Bible that Dad and I used to take oath of office as governor."

TANCREDO:
Alternate career choice: President.
Ha ha ha!
Favorite food to cook: Doesn't cook.
Honest...
Desert island necessity: "Boat."
At least he came closest to what would have been my answer to this question...."The Dummies Guide to Being Rescued from a Desert Island."
Favorite reality TV program: None.
Stay strong!
Worst habit: "Cigar smoking."
Blech!
"Sleeping-in" time: 8 a.m.
Hidden talent: "After 30 years in politics, there is no talent that has not been exploited."
Actually, it's "Comedian"
Last music purchase: "Frank Sinatra duet combo."
Cars you drive: Toyota Prius hybrid, Cadillac, Mercedes, Buick.
Item that most reminds you of where you came from: Picture of his mother.

So, what have we learned?
Hillary Clinton doesn't know the difference between fiction and reality.
We don't have a lot of fans of the French.
Real Men Grill.
A lot of people watch American Idol.
Some of these guys love their wives and kids. Others have issues with them.
Kucinich thinks waaaayyyy to much.
Hunter is well named.

Because you needed to know...grades

2007-05-17T09:44:00.000-07:00

I promise to actually write something borderline original here one of these days. It's just that the AP is cracking me up with these.

Next on the docket:
"What were your best and worst grades or subjects in school?"

DEMOCRATS
Delaware Sen. Joe Biden: Favorite subject was American jurisprudence at the University of Delaware; least favorite was contracts at Syracuse University Law School
Nerd.

New York Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton: "I always loved history and got good grades, but I never did well at math."
You know, that's interesting. I also loved history and got good grades, but I also had a 4.0 in math.

Connecticut Sen. Chris Dodd: Best, U.S. history. No answer on worst subject.
I think he's trying to tell us that he's a smarty pants. Or that he failed PE and doesn't want to admit it.

Former North Carolina Sen. John Edwards: Best, English; worst, chemistry.
Yeah, I wasn't too hot in chemistry either. English, though, was probably my best subject in high school.

Ohio Rep. Dennis Kucinich: Best subject, English; worst, biology.
See John Edwards

Illinois Sen. Barack Obama: Graduated magna cum laude from Harvard Law; D in 8th grade French.
Beware all you frenchies!

New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson: A in spelling; F in music.
Spelling? A subject? Maybe in the third grade!
____
REPUBLICANS
Kansas Sen. Sam Brownback: Best, agricultural economy; worst, music.
Agricultural economy? Well, he is from Kansas, so I can't knock him. However, the "Fashion Merchandising" class my nieces took in high school is a different story....

Former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani: Best, constitutional law and contracts in law school. Worst, tax in law school.
Bad news...don't break the law with Giuliani. Good news...feel free to cheat on your taxes.

Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee: A+ (100 percent average) in debate; C in 9th Grade algebra.
Apparently someone who gets a C in algebra has to explain what "A+" means.

California Rep. Duncan Hunter: Favorite college subject was contract law. No answer on worst subject.
Worst subject was probably spelling.

Arizona Sen. John McCain: "I never got good grade."
Hee hee hee!

Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney: A to F. "Fortunately, I got more A's than F's."
Now if that isn't a politically correct answer, I don't know what is!

Colorado Rep. Tom Tancredo: A+ in high school civics; failed high school French.
What's with the "A+"'s? Seriously, did you actually get an A+ on a report card? That wasn't even an option in my school...A was the best you could do. I feel robbed!

So, the moral of the story is that we have smart people and smartypants, but things are going to get any better between the US and France in the next administration!

Because you needed to know...chores

2007-05-16T09:05:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry, I can't resist. I found another stupid AP questionaire that I have to post. Really, isn't there news somewhere they AP could write about? Anyway, here it is...

"What home tasks need tending?"

DEMOCRATS:
Delaware Sen. Joe Biden: "Maintaining shrubbery"
Yes, it's true...Biden has sold his soul to the Knights Who Say "Ni!"

New York Sen.
Hillary Rodham Clinton: "Organizing my closets"
And what woman doesn't have to organize her closets? Oh, um, me. My closets are currently organized. Ha!

Connecticut Sen. Chris Dodd: "My 2 year-old who wakes up beginning at 3 every morning!"
I thought this was a really cute response until I remembered the question was "What home tasks need tending?" So, the 2 year-old is a task? Boy, you'd better start saving up for the therapy now!

Former North Carolina Sen. John Edwards: "Clearing paths in the woods"
Seriously? Who is this guy? Henry David Thoreau?

Ohio Rep. Dennis Kucinich: The garden
Okay, yeah...I can see that. I don't think Kucinich will go far in this election, but at least he gives good answers to these things. Someone should just send him one of those internet questionnaires that you fill out and send to 10 of your closest friends. That's probably all he wants.

Illinois Sen. Barack Obama: "Too numerous to list"
Join the club, buddy.

New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson: "Taking out the garbage at the mansion"
????????? Taking out the garbage at the MANSION? Are you trying to alienate yourself from EVERYONE?

REPUBLICANS:
Kansas Sen. Sam Brownback: "Mowing the lawn"
I always hated mowing the lawn. And I wasn't very good at it.

Former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani: "Cleaning the fireplace"
Just like Dick Van Dyke's character in Mary Poppins!

Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee: "Cleaning garage"
The good things about garages is you can always just close the door and no one will know!

California Rep. Duncan Hunter: "Finishing the rebuilding of our house that burned down — a big task."
Yeah, that is a big task.

Arizona Sen. John McCain: "Grilling"
Grilling? That's not a task, silly! What about cleaning up after all those pets?

Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney: "Clean the gutters"
Strangely, I don't believe him!

Colorado Rep. Tom Tancredo: Christmas lights
Hee hee hee!

Because you needed to know...pets

2007-05-16T08:46:00.000-07:00

Yes, the wacky AP is back at it again. This time the burning question they had for the leader of the free world wanna-be's....is.....
"What pets live in your home?" I think we can all agree that this is very important for the American public to know when we make our decision about who to vote for.....

DEMOCRATS
Delaware Sen. Joe Biden: A cat.
Yea! I like cats!

New York Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton: "Seamus, our Lab."
Um, whatever happened to Buddy the Dog? You know the dog that made them give away Socks the Cat? I still haven't forgiven the Clintons for that....

Connecticut Sen. Chris Dodd: None because of family's allergies. Would like a dog.
Oh, that's too bad!

Former North Carolina Sen. John Edwards: Golden retriever and chocolate Lab.
Ooh, great dogs!

Ohio Rep. Dennis Kucinich: Pound-rescues Harry the beagle-basset, Lucie the beagle and George the cocker spaniel.
Good for them for rescuing dogs from the pounds, but I really don't like Cocker Spaniels. They tend to pee everywhere.

Illinois Sen. Barack Obama: None.
Booo!

New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson: Cats Jake and Squeaky.
Yea! More cats!
____
REPUBLICANS
Kansas Sen. Sam Brownback: Two dogs, two cats and a fish.
Leave it to someone from the heartland to illustrate the food chain in his own home.

Former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani: None.
Booo!

Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee: Jet the 9-year-old black Lab, Sonic the 1 1/2-year-old Shih Tzu.
Lab, cool. Shih Tzu...I'm not sure those are really dogs....

California Rep. Duncan Hunter: Two black Labs, Boo and Hunter.
Yes, Labs are definitely cool. If I were to get a dog, I'd probably get a lab.

Arizona Sen. John McCain: Sam the English springer spaniel, Coco the mutt, turtles Cuff and Link, Oreo the black and white cat, a ferret, three parakeets and 13 saltwater fish.
Holy moly! I'd hate to clean up after his menagerie. I once had a turtle. It mysteriously disappeared. We're blaming Rosie the all-consuming Western Alligator lizard who probably still lives under the fish pond at my childhood home.

Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney: Family recently lost Marley, a Weimaraner.
Sad!

Colorado Rep. Tom Tancredo: No longer has a pet.
Also sad...

Well, all I can say is, "Hillary, you'd better explain about Buddy!" and "Barry and Rudy...if you want to be in the White House, you gotta get a pet!"

Because you needed to know...books

2007-05-15T10:33:00.000-07:00

As I said in an earlier post, I find great entertainment watching politicians try to win your vote. One thing I do like, are the silly "What are your favorite..." questions. As I find them, I'll post them here (with my comments, of course, in red).

Today, the question is "What is the last book you read?"

DEMOCRATS
Delaware Sen. Joe Biden: "Runaway Jury" by John Grisham.
To be quite honest, I think John Grisham readers fall into two categories: Those who read at a 3rd grade level and those who spend far too much time on airplanes. I'll give the senator the benefit of the doubt here....

New York Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton: "Team of Rivals" by Doris Kearns Goodwin
Suck-up

Connecticut Sen. Chris Dodd: "The Broker" by John Grisham.
See my comment on Joe Biden.

Former North Carolina Sen. John Edwards: "Exile" by Richard North Patterson.
I think Richard North Patterson may be a bit like John Grisham but, having never actually read any of his books, I probably shouldn't comment.

Ohio Rep. Dennis Kucinich: "Einstein's Dreams" by Alan Lightman.
Actually, this sounds like a good book...I might read it once I finish the other 940+ books.

Illinois Sen. Barack Obama: "Gilead" by Marilynne Robinson.
I think this won the Pulitzer or something...

New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson: "The administration's energy plan."
I bet this guy is fun to have at cocktail parties.

REPUBLICANS
Kansas Sen. Sam Brownback: "The Dream Giver" by Bruce Wilkinson with David and Heather Kopp.
I think I read a book called "The Dream Giver," but it was written by someone else.

Former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani: "The Beach House" by James Patterson and Peter De Jonge.
I think my Studmuffin got this for his birthday....

Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee: "My oldest son's screenplay."
Well, at least it's honest!

California Rep. Duncan Hunter: "The Democrats' proposal to balance the budget."
Suck-up

Arizona Sen. John McCain: "A Farewell to Arms" by Ernest Hemingway.
I think McCain is reading from the same list I am.....

Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney: "Term Limits" by Vince Flynn.
You know, I'm not sure if he's trying to suck up or if this is just a really dull-sounding book.

Colorado Rep. Tom Tancredo: "An Inconvenient Truth" by Al Gore.
Suck-up

Goals and obsessions

2007-05-14T12:17:00.000-07:00

If you read back to the earliest posts on this blog (which I hope you don't because, frankly, they're crap), you will see that one of the inspirations for this was Julie Powell's book, Julie and Julia. It's a fun book and I recommend it for some light reading. But what really drew me to that book was that Julie Powell had a mission. Hers was to cook every recipe out of Julia Child's The Art of French Cooking cookbook. Well, I like to cook, but I don't like french food (or, frankly, Julia Child all that much), so obviously I needed to find a new quest. Besides, when you go on a quest, you'd like it to be unique.

A while ago, my friends and I stumbled across a list of "the 1001 books to read before you die." Shortly thereafter, my one friend--the Good Doctor--started giving us copies of the very heavy book by the same title and, luckily, same list. So, I sat down and figured out which ones I had read and, low and behold, I've read 5.99% of them. Yes, for someone who loves to read, I've only read 60 of these books!

So, there is my mission...to read all these books before I die. If nothing else, it will ensure a very long life. And it will give me much to complain about...I'm already mystified as to why The Shining and Interview with the Vampire are on the list, but not a single Harry Potter book is there. And is Salman Rushdie such a great writer that ALL of his books are listed? Not even Dickens can claim that.

Anyway, here is where I am now...below are the 60 books I've just read.
Voltaire by Candide
The Tenant of Wildfell Hall by Anne Bronte (A favorite!)
Agnes Grey by Anne Bronte
Hard Times by Charles Dickens
Villette by Charlotte Bronte
Shirley by Charlotte Bronte
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte (A favorite!)
The Pit and the Pendulum by Edgar Allan Poe
Germinal by Emile Zola
Wuthering Heights by Charlotte Bronte (A favorite!)
The Mill on the Floss by George Eliot
Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe
Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen
Persuasion by Jane Austen
Emma by Jane Austen
Mansfield Park by Jane Austen
Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen (at this point, I need to add that most of these Jane Austen books were read under duress during my college years. The truth is that I hate Jane Austen novels!)
The Kreutzer Sonata by Leo Tolstoy
The Death of Ivan Ilyich by Leo Tolstoy
Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy (ugh!)
Little Women by Louisa May Alcott (A favorite!)
The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne (A VERY favorite!)
The Strange Case of Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson
Tess of the D'Ubervilles by Thomas Hardy
Les Miserables by Victor Hugo
One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn (pure agony)
The Little Prince by Antone de Saint-Exupery (in French, no less!)
Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden (good book, dumb movie)
The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy
The Stone Diaries by Carol Shields
Lady Chatterly's Lover by D.H. Lawrence (didn't live up to the hype)
Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
The Shipping News by E. Annie Proulx
Howards End by E.M. Forster
A Room with a View by E.M. Forster
Where Angels Fear to Tread by E.M. Forster
Ethan Frome by Edith Wharton
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald (A favorite!)
Animal Farm by George Orwell
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (A VERY favorite!)
The Black Dahlia by James Ellroy
The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides
Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguru
Like Water for Chocolate by Laura Esquivel
Captain Corelli's Mandolin by Louis de Bernieres
The Robber Bride by Margaret Atwood
The Handmaid's Tail by Margaret Atwood
Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
The New York Trilogy by Paul Auster
The Jungle by Upton Sinclair
Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
Atonement by Ian McEwen
Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides (A favorite!)
Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer (A favorite!)
Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguru (I just finished this one on Friday--I recommend it but I will warn readers that it is not what you would expect!)
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon
Life of Pi by Yann Martel

So, only a little less than 941 books to go (I'm about 20 pages into Tender is the Night by F. Scott Fitzgerald). If you are interested, you can google this list and it will come up...or you can buy the book....or you can email me for my marked up list. And, if you want to buy me a gift, I'm putting all the books I haven't read (that are in print) in my amazon wish list!

More random thoughts

2007-05-08T15:58:00.000-07:00

It is quite obvious that I have been bitten by the blogging bug today. For reasons that I will make public at a more prudent time, this is not surprising.

Anyway, here are some things that have been running through my head.

I discovered Jennifer Weiner's website, listed on the right, today. It's a great site, but I think that I would easily offend her if I ever met her. The thing is, I don't like chick lit. But, I like Jennifer Weiner's books, along with one or two other "chick lit" writers. What Jennifer Weiner should probably understand is that she is among a few in chick lit. She writes well. For every Jennifer Weiner, there are three or four people writing crap like Dating without Novocain.

I think that we should do away with Presidential debates. No matter how much fun they are (yes, I find them entertaining), they aren't really that useful. We already know where all the candidates stand before the debates ever begin. Heck, we know where they stand now. Instead, I think they should all be on a trivia game show. You know, ask them stuff about US History, Government, American Literature, Pop Culture (see how much they care about you, Hollywood!), and State Capitals. When the debates finally come around, I'd rather find out what the candidates know, not what they think.

I got an email saying that no one should buy gas on May 15th and that will show them! Do you really believe that? I don't. It's only one day and, frankly, anyone can go without buying gas for one day. Heck, I can go 3 weeks without buying gas!

I'm reading a bizarre, but good book right now. I won't go into details, but apparently the author's past life is revealed in dreams. Frankly, this sort of freaks me out since my current recurring dream (i.e., I've dreamt it twice in the last 3 months or so) is that I'm a contestant on The Amazing Race. What does that mean????

Speaking of Sports...the biggest game of all is about to start

2007-05-08T10:22:00.000-07:00

I'm not a political person in that I don't belong to a political party and I don't have signs up in my yard. Okay, I don't have a yard--but if I did, I wouldn't put up any signs. I don't have any political bumber stickers and I don't donate money to anyone.

That being said, I really love presidential elections! I love them in the way that I love baseball (although not as much as I love baseball since, frankly, the stakes are a lot lower if you stand by a loser in baseball). I love watching people try to win the public over, to try and be mean while looking nice, to grapple with questions made horribly painful only by their earlier answers. Then Hollywood comes out and they all think they are relevant to all this and get all upset when the other 99.9% of the nation just rolls their eyes at them. This stuff is great!

Well, it's starting up again. As for where I am right now, I've identified two candidates I could vote for--one for each party (I really hope that they don't both get the nominations of their respective parties, that would make things hard for me when it comes time for me to sit on my couch in my pajamas and vote) and one candidate that I absolute refuse to vote for because, frankly, I think this candidate may actually be truly evil.

And, no, I won't tell you who any of these candidates are because, unlike a Hollywoodian, I honestly believe that other human beings have brains and can figure out on their own who would best represent their views. And, frankly, if I told you, that would take some of the fun out of it.

Man, oh man, this is going to be a wild 18 months!

Time to move those flags around!

2007-05-08T09:57:00.000-07:00

My family has a tradition--at least I hope it's a tradition. There are 3 flag poles on the shore of the lake and the previous owners flew the Norwegian, Swedish and Danish flags (or something like that). When my brother brought the place, my genius nephew had the brilliant idea that we should fly the flags of the Chicago White Sox, the Minnesota Twins and the Seattle Mariners. As the flags fly at different heights, they would be arranged by their standing in the American League.

Now, as a Mariner fan, this was tough. We were ALWAYS at the bottom--and miserably so. When I'd see my family, their first question was not "How are you?" or "How have you been?" but "What is wrong with your team?" But, being a true fan, I stuck to my team.

So, this morning, I was going through the sports pages at MSNBC.com and I noticed something. The Chicago White Sox are currently at .500. The Minnesota Twins are at .516. Wait for it....

....The Seattle Mariners are at .519!

So, by rights, there needs to be some reorganizing at the lake. Sadly, though, I doubt it will happen. There are 2 problems: First off, I'm the only Mariner's fan in the family and I think that this current standing will be easily "overlooked." Secondly, I think my father is the only person who knows how to put the flags up and change them and he is still in Arizona.

Oh well...I'll have to let this go (for now). But, let's see what happens in June and July!

"Was this your first choice for a field trip?"

2007-05-07T12:01:00.000-07:00

For those of you who know me, you'll understand why I find this hilarious!

Woe is celebrity

2007-04-26T10:49:00.000-07:00

Once I got into the office today (after an off-site meeting, parking hell and a trip to Starbucks, of course), I sat down on my computer and got to the work of the day....trolling the MSNBC website, of course. Here's my routine...scan the home page, check out the sports, check out the entertainment, check out the areas like "Health" and "Pets and Animals."

I only got as far as the Entertainment page today. Drew Barrymore is apparently the most beautiful woman in the world...whatever. But then I saw a link that caught my eye. Apparently, Hugh Grant has been arrested for throwing a tupperware container full of baked beans at a photographer.

As we know, this isn't the first time that Hugh Grant has had a run-in with the law. There was, of course, that infamous stop to pick up Divine Brown. After that, he did the completely unorthodoxed move of apologizing to everyone. Seriously! I think he even made a personal apology to me!

This time, however, I really don't think he needs to apologize. Here's a guy who just wanted to eat some beans. So, he goes home, with beans in hand, and someone insists on taking his picture and making him answer inane questions, probably about his ex-girlfriend's possibly illegal Hindu wedding. The guy just wants to eat beans! Give him a break! The only think I think Hughie did wrong is NOT take the lid off the tupperware container before he threw the beans.

I'm not a fan of celebrities. I mean, yes, there are actors and musical acts I enjoy. But, to me, they are just brands that I chose to purchase. I'm not the person who is going to wait in line to meet someone famous in the entertainment industry because I don't want to meet them. On the flip side, I do think these people are entitled to a little bit of privacy. True, there are some who want to live their lives in the spotlight but, on this day, Hugh just wanted to eat beans. What's wrong with that.

I recently attended an event where I attended a talk given by the author, Amy Tan. After her very amusing monologue about her mother (surprise, surprise), she gave a book signing. I did stand in line for this--I don't consider this meeting a celebrity, but rather having an artist autograph their work. Anyway, there were two women in front of me who both had digital cameras. While waiting to get to the front of the line, they were sneaking pictures of Ms. Tan. I had to bite my tongue--we were there for a book signing and not a photo-op. Would they like to have complete strangers take pictures of them for their own personal enjoyment.

Stepping off soap box (for now!)

B&B take on BNL

2007-04-21T23:10:00.000-07:00

'cuz I'm just not feeling creative tonight, I thought I'd steal more stuff from YouTube.

Cat attack!

2007-04-20T14:00:00.001-07:00

It's Friday....time for some laughs....

All for naught....

2007-04-17T22:12:00.000-07:00

...all my voting for Clyde Drexler has at last (and not surprisingly) fallen flat. I'll now have to vote for good dancers.

...Jeff Weaver--the biggest waste of money ever. Good going, Seattle.

Over-rated fizzy stuff

2007-04-15T20:53:00.000-07:00

So, my thoughtful Studmuffin brought me back a souvenir from his trip to the other side of the planet--a very nasty head cold (he also brought me some other quite fine things, but those are for another post). Now, I'm not one who gets sick too often so I'm out of the loop when it comes to over the counter drugs. Anyway, when anyone heard me sniffle, they all had the same advice, "You need Airborne."

I tried it--first impression is that this stuff is nasty! It's kind of like alka-seltzer with a pathetic attempt to add some kind of flavor (I've tried lemon-line and "zesty" orange). Second impression--this is a load of crap. Seriously. I don't care what Oprah says, this stuff is a waste of money.

And, really, I hate to admit it but that's what convinced me to try it. "Oprah talks about it." Why should that make a difference? I can't say that I have any strong feelings for or against Oprah, but I really don't feel that one should be so powerful as to convince me that I should drink scary fizzy stuff.

Now I know....just give me the hard stuff. Well, if you can call sudafed hard stuff......

Googling me is a waste of time...

2007-04-13T16:03:00.000-07:00

HowManyOfMe.com

There are
77
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

There are 77 people (at least) with my name in the country. So, if you google me, the chances are you'll find someone else.

I'm not sure how accurate this is since I found two people that I know are in this country (one who sits 5 feet away from me and one who blogs here do not, according to this site, exist in this country.

The strange thing about dreams

2007-04-13T12:06:00.000-07:00

I am a dreamer--I mean, I'm one of those people who have dreams every night and usually remember at least snippets of them. I rarely have nightmares--dreams that wake me up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat or anything like that--but weird things do tend to happen when I fall asleep.

Here's one weird thing: whenever Carmel shows up in my dreams, he not a cat but a monkey. And while I adore Carmel, I hate monkeys. Go figure!

Divine Intervention

2007-04-12T13:29:00.000-07:00

I think God is a Mariner's fan. I just saw that the Boston game has been put on a rain delay and possibly postponed. You see, I think the big guy upstairs has the same theory that I have...the Mariners should only play every 5 days so that Felix will always be pitching.

Of course, the problem with this theory is that it only works in run-down decrepit parks like Fenway (National treasure? I've been in that place and it's a dump! Trust me, baseball would be far better off if they got rid of Fenway) or, well, other parks without retractable roofs. I'm not sure what God has up his sleeve for home games.....

Conversions

2007-04-11T22:26:00.000-07:00

Today was a sad day for me. My co-worker who sat next to me had accepted a new job and this was the last day for her sitting next to me. Besides being one of the nicest people on the planet, she is--like me--a true Mariner's fan. Trust me, work is far more enjoyable when you have someone to discuss the play-by-plays in the afternoon.

Anyway, I've decided that I need to convert the Rochinator, who sits to cubes down from me, to Mariner fandom. The problem is, well, he's just not that interested. This might be due to the fact that he's German. Or the fact that he operates under the mistaken belief that Americans care about David Beckham. I dunno--there is something wrong with this. I think I may sneak in early and decorate his desk with M's memorabilia.

Hmm, for some reason baseball season is starting to look interesting!

More proof of global warming

2007-04-09T22:04:00.000-07:00

It's a sad state of affairs. The Mariners-Cleveland series was WIPED OUT by snow. Dang global warming. (Okay, I can't complain that much as we were down 5-0 before they called the first game....but it's snow...and baseball! C'mon!)

Of course, I'm fighting my own environmental uphill battle at the moment since my Studmuffin does not recycle aluminium cans! Dude, that's 5 cents a can.....yeesh! Seriously, I set out the cans to recycle and he sneaks them down to the dumpster! All I have to say is that he did not grow up in Oregon.

Disco Ball Democracy

2007-04-09T21:49:00.000-07:00

If you watch Dancing with the Stars, you are probably wondering what some of the stars are doing on the show. Leeza Gibbons? Really? I still haven't forgiven Billy Ray Cyrus for the achy-breaky heart. And, really, who was scarier--Shandi Finnessy or her partner?

Okay, so you might also be wondering why Clyde Drexler is still there. I'll tell you why....ME! Just tonight, I've voted for him 45 times! Okay, I voted as my Studmuffin 18 of those times--but still! And I'm mobilizing my co-workers to email in votes tomorrow. True, he's not the best dancer there but here's the thing: it doesn't matter.

Really, what are the stakes for this show? A disco-ball trophy. Woo-hoo. They don't win money--as if they needed money. And they are celebrities (well, some of them are) so, really, I don't care if they are embarrassed or not since they are so far out of my realm of reality.

If you think that this show is about talent, then you have missed the boat. It's all about popularity! Yes, Joey Fatone is a good dancer but John Ratzenberger was Cliff Clavin! And there is only Clyde the Glide. EYE-an can dance all he wants, but really, it's all about the tall guy for me.

Have hippity-hoppity Easter!

2007-04-08T21:57:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter everyone! I hope your holiday--if you celebrate it--was wonderful and all that. I admit that I spent most of it working--or putting my Studmuffin to work moving tables, cleaning church kitchens and, as we speak, trying to make a ricotta cheese mixture "fluffy." And all of this after he spent umpteen dozen hours on a plane returning to me from the other side of the planet. He must love me. Or he's a sadist--I'm not sure which. But, honestly, he really shouldn't complain too much as it is earning him brownie points. Just today, someone at church told him he was far better than the last guy I brought. I think that might actually be a compliment (and, frankly, very true! Let's just say that most of the past 33 years were my crazy period. I might still be in that crazy period but, if so, my Studmuffin is the same kind of crazy.)

I will say that this is the first Easter in, probably, ever when I did not consume ANY Cadbury Creme Eggs. I'm not sure if I'm proud or horrified by this fact. You know, my Studmuffin said he'd buy me a cadbury creme egg and, alas, he has not. Whatever....I won't let him forget it. Bwaa-haa-haa!!!!!!

An undercover look....

2007-04-04T23:01:00.000-07:00

Okay, someone asked what was up with the nicknames on my site. It's true...I rarely post anyone's real names. The identities behind some of the nicknames are obvious--for example, if you read back, you'll know that the Guberif is my father. Others are not so.

Believe it or not, I'm not part of some underground cult. Instead, I recognize that, sadly, the internet is not always used for good and not everyone wants strangers to know what is going on. Now, obviously, I seem not to have a problem with that since I have a BLOG, but some of the people in my life have more sense than I do.

And, to be honest, nicknames are kind of cool. Take my Studmuffin, for example. From the nickname "Studmuffin" you can tell that he's a one of a kind guy with at least enough guts to be called Studmuffin. I'll let you in on a little secret...he chose that nickname himself! Probably good since the nickname I had given him previous to this was Sir Talksalot.

Of course, Sir Talksalot is not a bad nickname either. After all, my Studmuffin does talk....alot. This is not a bad thing. On the contrary, it relieves me from having to be social with complete strangers (something my Studmuffin is quite good at). And, I admit it...I gave him that nickname. Also a good thing because I beat my friends to the nickname. Trust me on this, always give your significant others nicknames before your friends can......

The First Year

2007-03-22T07:00:00.000-07:00

Guess what! One year ago today, I started this blog. Yes, believe it or not, I actually kept it up for a year. To celebrate, I thought it would be fun to put down some of the things I figured out this year.

TV shows are TV shows. Get a DVR and go live your life.
If you don't like where you are, go find some place else. It's not like you are chained up. (I guess this piece of advice doesn't apply if you actually are chained up!)
If you are dating someone because you think they are the best you can do, you're wrong
Just because it's Arizona doesn't mean you'll have warm weather
Trust your instincts. It took me a while (and one last bonehead relationship) to finally get this one. Your instincts are right.
Ask the important questions and don't let others blow you off. If they blow you off, they have something to hide.
Don't be with people who have something to hide.
Starbucks is a great place!
If 1 piece of pizza and 1 beer gives you heartburn once, don't tempt fate.
Speaking of fate, don't fight it. It will all work out wonderfully in the end.
Traveling by plane is much more fun when you can hold someone's hand!
It's much better to have a handful of wonderful friends than a ton of friendly acquaintances.
Asparagus actually can taste good!
Always trust the guy who, on the first date, says, "You should date me and here's why" and then list some very good reasons. He's right!

Who woulda believed it...

2007-03-16T14:23:00.000-07:00

In an effort to be more spiritually attuned (who are we kidding? I was killing time!) I took the belief-o-matic quiz over at Beliefnet. Here are my results....

1. Orthodox Quaker (100%)
2. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (88%)
3. Eastern Orthodox (87%)
4. Roman Catholic (87%)
5. Seventh Day Adventist (86%)
6. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (84%)
7. Orthodox Judaism (76%)
8. Liberal Quakers (72%)
9. Bahá'í Faith (63%)
10. Hinduism (62%)
11. Islam (60%)
12. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (58%)
13. Reform Judaism (56%)
14. Sikhism (56%)
15. Unitarian Universalism (55%)
16. Jehovah's Witness (52%)
17. Jainism (40%)
18. Neo-Pagan (38%)
19. New Age (36%)
20. Mahayana Buddhism (36%)
21. Theravada Buddhism (34%)
22. Secular Humanism (30%)
23. Taoism (21%)
24. New Thought (19%)
25. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (18%)
26. Nontheist (18%)
27. Scientology (14%)

Quaker, huh? I have a friend who walked out of a Quaker meeting the last time he attended because there was a puppet show. It wasn't meant for the kids.

Interesting to know that of all the recognized (by beliefnet) religions, I am least like a Scientologist. At least I don't need to question my sanity!

From the Studmuffin...

2007-03-09T16:44:00.000-08:00

People in hell might be getting their ice water

2007-03-05T11:00:00.000-08:00

Growing up, whenever I said I needed something (that needed is supposed to have that child-like whining attached), the Guberif would look at me and say, "And people in hell need ice water." After that particular profound comment, he'd usually go snipe hunting or something of that sort. But anyway, it's sometimes hard to determine when you actually need something versus just needing something.

So, until about an hour ago, both my Studmuffin and I drove pieces of junk. Or so I thought--apparently my Subaru is in very good condition (according to a former Subaru dealer), even though you have to start it with a doorbell. However, Studmuffin's car--which, I might add, was 4 years newer than mine--was most likely on it's last legs. Let's just say there was a periodic and unidentified thumping going on.

Okay, so Studmuffin needs a new car. Now, he had been looking for cars for what I thought was abotu 5 months. Yesterday, I was informed by his friend that he had actually been looking for a new car for 6 years. Yes, 6 YEARS! He had started driving my (apparently bulletproof) car around and if something didn't happen, I would probably never see my car again.

When I first met Studmuffin, he had his heart set on a Rav4. Then he decided to test drive an Equinox at the world's worst car dealership and, in the midst of 2 hours of arguing with the salesmen, decided that he actually wanted a passenger car. Okay, so a passenger car it was. Then he decided that maybe a subaru would be good--not a bad choice since you are apparently safe from a nuclear holocaust if you are in a Subaru. Then he thought he might want something American. Finally, he decided he wanted a used Ford Taurus rental car.

Now, I don't know much about cars. I mean I didn't even know that my car was so good that God drives the same model. But even I was a little wary of this. I mentioned it at work and the Rochinator went crazy. Admittedly, that was pretty funny, but it didn't help my unease over the whole used rental car thing. I used to have a friend that would routinely try and wreck rental cars. Just because. And, sadly, I don't think he's the only one.

Once I found out about the 6 years and the fact that I might lose possession of the magic that is my car I realized something must change. A little tough love from myself and Studmuffin's friend and, lo and behold, I found myself at a car dealership with my Studmuffin.

And here's the thing. He bought a car. A new car. A cool new car. Yes, he got the Rav 4 he wanted in the first place. And it's beautiful, far more beautiful than my awesome car (but that's okay...I'm not sure I want people knowing how awesome my car is). Good for him!

Something to ponder:
"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"
-Stephen Wright

Don't worry, they're just warming up.

2007-03-02T13:30:00.000-08:00

The M's lost their exhibition game to the Padre's yesterday. I'm refusing to read too much into this as it is just the first game. I'm also trying to overlook their apparent strategy of replacing their up and coming players with, um, experienced (i.e., old and injured) players. Who knows, maybe there is a coherent logic behind this.

In any case, my Studmuffin and I, along with my parents, are going to a spring training game later this month. I had hoped to get tickets to the Arizona/Seattle game, but it didn't work schedulewise. So, we'll be watching the Mariners play the White Sox. It's a great situation...if the Mariner's win, I can gloat about it to my oldest brother and his family, who live in the Chicago area and happen to be White Sox fans. And, if the M's lose, well--it was just spring training anyway. Besides, it's the Mariners!

Just thinking of this does put me in a better state of mind. One bad thing about having the desk with the view is that sometimes that view is of gloomy, dreary weather. However, it's starting to heat up again in Arizona and, in less than 3 weeks, I'll be basking in the sun!

Quote of the day:
"Baseball is dull only to dull minds."
-Red Barber

Yes, I'm the introverted one!

2007-03-01T09:57:00.000-08:00

Your Personality is Very Rare (INFP)

Your personality type is dreamy, romantic, elegant, and expressive.

Only about 5% of all people have your personality, including 6% of all women and 4% of all men
You are Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

I took the Myers-Briggs instrument not too long ago and was SHOCKED to discover that I was, in fact, an introvert. Thankfully, my Studmuffin is the extroverted one....

White stuff

2007-02-28T12:39:00.000-08:00

We had snow again today...not in downtown, but out where I live. I really don't like snow, at least not usually. Snow is fabulous when you are inside and you have no where to go and you have a mug of hot chocolate. Snow is fabulous if you are skiing or snowshoeing or whatnot. In any other situation, snow sucks.

For those of you not from the Pacific Northwest, you need to understand something about this part of the country. God loves us more than most and has blessed us with far less weather than most people receive. It usually doesn't get too cold and, if it does, it doesn't last long. It rarely gets too hot. It does rain a bit, but that just makes everything green and pretty.

The flip side, of course, is that when we get real weather everyone FREAKS OUT! It's the end of the world, cars are sliding everywhere, the radio is full of school closures, it's all gloom and doom on the local news. Really, I don't know how we survive these times!

I am lucky, though, since I have my Studmuffin to drive me around. (I think EVERYONE is lucky for that since I'm not the best driver on dry pavement, much less that with a film of slush on it). And I'm lucky that I live in the Pacific Northwest, where the snow will be gone by the time I get home tonight.

A bit of truth:
"Climate is what we expect; weather is what we get."
-Mark Twain

See, I'm not so bad!

2007-02-27T12:19:00.000-08:00

You Are 16% Evil

You are good. So good, that you make evil people squirm.
Just remember, you may need to turn to the dark side to get what you want!

How Evil Are You?

What is that smell?????

2007-02-26T09:36:00.000-08:00

So, this weekend, my Studmuffin and I hit one of the local malls. We weren't shopping for anything in particular (although I did get some licorice candy out of the deal), mostly just wandering. Anyway, I did drag him into Sephora since, well, we hadn't yet made it to the Body Shop.

In the fragrance section, on the bottom shelf, behind a sign of some sort, I found a bottle of the Britney Spears fragrance. Before I go any farther, I do have to say that I think this poor girl is in the midst of a breakdown and, frankly, the public just needs to give her a break. I think we all (including Ms Spears. Including me and most other adults I know) would do well if she took a break from the public eye while she straightened herself out. That being said, curiosity got the better part of me and I had to take a sniff of her perfume.

My lord, she put out a line of bubblegum scented perfume. And, apparently, someone bought it for their child. What is the world coming to?

And now, a nugget of wisdom for the day:
"I have an existential map: it has 'you are here' written all over it."
-Stephen Wright

Great, now it will NEVER get out of my head!

2007-02-26T09:30:00.000-08:00

Well, my Studmuffin finally figured out the song. Well, actually, he needed help from his cousin (who, incidentally, also has a blog. You can find it here). Unfortunately, he has now, um, "serenaded" me with that song about 20 times. Great. Now it will NEVER get out of my head. Luckily, his version has a different tune. Hmm, maybe "tune" is too strong of a word...

I'd better shut up about this now, he's threatened to find the guitar chords for it.

What was once annoying is now strangely amusing!

2007-02-23T15:47:00.000-08:00

So, for almost the past 4 months, I've had a very cheesy 80's love ballad stuck in my head. With all certainty, I can blame this on my Studmuffin since, well, he's my Studmuffin. The problem is that I hate this song. It's not one of those songs that, when you hear it for the first time, you think it's pretty and then, about the 10,000th time you've heard it in a week, you want to kill someone. I have always hated this song...from the first time I heard it (which was in the 80's....duh!). And, it's not that it is an offensive or even a bad song. It's just so, so, so cheesy.

What's the song? Well, I'm not going to tell you! I admitted this song-haunting to my Studmuffin last night, along with the disclaimer that the song was SO cheesy that I was too embarrassed to tell him the song title. Since then, he's been trying (in vain!) to guess the song. He's put out a number of guesses, none of which have been close. I can tell you that the song is not:
Lady in Red
If You Leave
Sexual Healing (yes, this was one of his guesses!)
I Can Dream About You
Separate Ways
Faithfully
Against All Odds
Hello (Okay, it's SO not anything by Lionel Ritchie)
Hold Onto The Nights
Alone Again
I Miss You
One More Night
At this Moment
Look Away
Missing You
Where are You Now?
Always There to Remind Me
Shattered Dreams
Hungry Eyes
Can You Feel the Love Tonight
Let's Get it On
Everybody Wang Chung Tonight
She Drives Me Crazy
Cherry Pie
Knockin' Boots
or, sadly, anything by Paula Abdul

So, anyone want to help him out? I don't know, I'm having fun watching him try to figure this one out. Unfortunately, that song is STILL in my head! Argh!

And, now, a quote:
"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."
-Berthold Auerbach

A trip to YouTube

2007-02-22T17:22:00.000-08:00

So, I think my Studmuffin got on my case about 5 times today to update my blog. Unfortunately, I'm leaving in 7 minutes and I don't have time to write anything too deep, so I'm taking the easy way out.

I found this on YouTube--this guy is great. And he makes fun of the Friends theme--this warms my heart. I once had a crazy roommate who, I kid you not, was a group for The Rembrandts. Wondering who The Rembrandts are? They sang the Friends theme. And that's about it.

Enjoy!

He's not gay, he's CANADIAN!

2007-02-01T12:19:00.000-08:00

Yes, I actually said that last night. My StudMuffin and I were catching up on some shows on my DVR, including a 2-week old episode of "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip." Upon seeing Matthew Perry, who I find entertaining, my StudMuffin insisted he was gay...to which I replied, "He's not gay, he's Canadian!"

Now, it is true that my StudMuffin does have some Chandler issues, but he's not the first person I've met who confused being Canadian with being gay. Why is this? I mean, I understand that Canada is a vast mystery to Americans but I do have a couple good friends who just happen to be Canadian and, other than the fact that one says "yaaaaa-hoo" for yahoo and the other just has a tendency for mispronounciations in general, they are normal (relatively).

So, I'm starting to put a list here of Canadian things that perplex us Americans. Feel free to join in:
- The whole "ou" thing "I chased the moose about the house" is not suppose to rhyme.
- Poutine. Why would anyone eat anything that looked like that?
- Why do they have the queen on their money?
- Kilometers. Really, get with the program (and that goes for you too, Southern Arizona!)
- The whole French thing. That is so 18th century.
- Mounties. Really, could you call your police force something a bit funnier?

Don't get me wrong...I'm not anti Canada. There are many things about Canada I like (my Canadian friends, Matthew Perry, Mike Myers, Anne of Green Gables, Margaret Atwood and, of course, the BareNaked Ladies), but what is up with Canada?

And, a bit of Matthew Perry:
I was the coolest kid of the non-cool crowd.

A note, before I publish this and people start yelling at me. Okay, so Matthew Perry is only sort of Canadian. He was born in Massachusetts (but we won't hold it against him) and raised in Canada. Close enough, after all, we all consider Mel Gibson and Nicole Kidman to be Aussies, don't we?

Limbo Land

2007-01-31T15:13:00.000-08:00

Waiting, waiting, waiting. I'm sitting at the office waiting for reports and systems to start up again so I can do some work and, of course, that's not happening. So, I'm here--eating up bandwidth.

The truth is, I really don't have that much to say. I researched cars for my StudMuffin, who seems to be a bit indecisive about what he wants. I looked up the alumni in my area on the W&M alumni website. I read about the new Amazing Race: All Stars cast. Yes, it's been a very exciting afternoon.

Okay, maybe not.

Here's some wisdom to ponder:
"If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner."
-Tallulah Bankhead

Here's a movie I've got to see!

2007-01-26T09:28:00.000-08:00

I was doing my news surfing today over at MSNBC and I came across an article saying that Nicole Kidman had been hurt in an on-set accident. I guess what happened was she was in a car that was being towed by a stunt driver. The stunt driver cut a corner (I don't want to hear ANYTHING from my StudMuffin on THAT one!) and the car she was in hit a pole. She was taken to the hospital and realised. So, apparently it wasn't too big of a deal and she'll be okay.

However, what got me was this. Here is the synopsis of the film she is working on, cut and pasted (i.e. blantantly stolen) from msnbc.com:

The Oscar-winning actress, who stars as a Washington psychiatrist who unearths the origin of an alien epidemic, was involved in a scene involving an escape from zombielike characters on the hood of the car.

Is it just me, or does anyone else think this might be the role that defines her career?????

Okay, it's just me.

And, now, from Nicole herself:
"Let's make sure we have a party."
-Nicole Kidman

Movie stuff

2007-01-24T13:27:00.000-08:00

For those of you who are wondering why I didn't send out a rant on the Oscar nominations, it can be found here. Not too interesting this year, but I felt bound by duty to write something.

Quote o' the day:
"My favorite review described me as the cinematic equivalent of junk mail."
-Steve Buscemi

Move over monkeys, there is something else to scare me now!

2007-01-17T14:41:00.000-08:00

So, I was emailing my StudMuffin from my Gmail account and I noticed the google ads...they were oddly appropriate for my message. Hmmm, coincidence? I didn't think so. Since I'm at work and it is the middle of the afternoon I realize it's the perfect opportunity to see what's up.

Emails from Aabra are by far the best place to start. Next to an email entitled, "Funny, I thought the Smurfs were *Socialists*" there are ads for Smurfs, Smurf ringtones (my mind can't even begin to comprehend how annoying that would be!) and women's shirts. With "Scary Mary Poppins" I find links to buy tickets to see Mary Poppins on Broadway, an official site of a movie I've never seen, and a site to email Al Gore. And, with "A dragon needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle," I found a link to dragon gear...like my dragon needs sunglasses.

Then I realized it, Google is reading my mail! The reason I have Gmail is it's the only mail provider I've found that does a halfway decent job of keeping the spammers away and now I realize that they've just added spam onto every single message. Evil evil evil!

So, here's the thing, nothing you send on gmail (or, lets face it, anything in cyberspace) is completely private. I'm okay with that...I'm not okay with my email being exploited for commercial purposes. However, luckily for gmail, one thing I'm even less okay with is spam.

And, now, words of wisdom...this time dedicated to my Studmuffin who is still trying to figure out what is up with Carmel....
"Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function."
-Garrison Keillor

Why I had bad breath on Sunday Morning

2007-01-02T12:21:00.000-08:00

Okay, the title of this post will (eventually) make sense...just bear with me.

First off, I am not a political person...I'm a patriotic person, but not political. I don't even belong to a political party--I'm still looking for someone to start a Kumbaya party! It's not that I don't like either party. In fact, I do like both parties...I just don't like partisan politics and I think that the bitterness between the two parties that we are currently dealing with is truly detrimental to the country.

I saw this because I'm about to get a bit political on you all. So, President Gerald Ford died this past week. Not only was he a historically significant president, but he was a truly great man. How do the media networks handle this? They don't. Instead, it's all about the execution of Saddam Hussein.

Now, Hussein was in prison and we knew he'd be executed so, really, this isn't big news. Instead, it's everywhere on TV and poor Gerald Ford, bless his soul, is forgotten. I ask you this? What is better for our nation? Talking about Saddam Hussein and bringing back all the ideological fighting that's currently going on in our nation or remembering a man who brought this nation together and helped to heal our wounds?

Yes, I'm a little upset about this and I was upset about it on Sunday when I flew back here from Tucson. For those of you who have not had the pleasure of flying through Tucson International Airport, I must commend this facility on it's effort to protect the nation from terrorists masquerading as retirees! Okay, I'll admit it, this may be the one airport in the nation where security isn't a joke. For example, when I flew out of Portland earlier in the month, I tossed a tube of toothpaste (3.4 ounces) in my backpack. I knew it wasn't in a ziplock bag and I knew it was over the 3 ounce limit, but I thought, "What the heck, it's just toothpaste!" What I didn't know was that I had a 4 ounce bottle of face mister in my bag as well. Well, security in Portland didn't catch either one! Now, I knew they should have caught me on the face mister, but I wasn't completely sure that toothpaste was a liquid.

Fast forward 10 days: I'm in a long line for security in Tucson. I have my shoes off, my contraband toothpaste (which is now less than 3.4 ounces since, well, I brushed my teeth about 20 times since the last time I had gone through airport security) in the little tray, and I'm holding Carmel--whose scared to death, wiggling and throwing fur. I get through the gate and the security woman (warden!) pulls out my toothpaste.

"You can't have this! This is against TSA regulations!"

I said, whatever...feel free to take it. Then I mentioned that I didn't realize that it was against the regulations because it hadn't been pulled the last time I went through security. The woman glares at me, "We are stricter now! Saddam Hussein is dead!"

What? I had to give up my toothpaste because of Saddam Hussein? Seriously? I have to say that I was mildly miffed about this as I was planning to brush my teeth in order to have minty fresh breath for my Studmuffin when he came to pick me up. But, no, Studmuffin had to deal with my stale breath...thanks to Saddam Hussein!

And, now, your words of wisdom:
"Things are more like they are now than they have ever been."
- Gerald Ford

Adios 2006!

2006-12-29T16:36:00.000-08:00

This will be my last post for this year. Tomorrow is my last day in Arizona, I'll be flying back early on the 31st and then I expect that the rest of the 31st will be spent with my Studmuffin...so here is my final 2006 post.

In the end, it's been a flippin' good year! I think we've all had years when, we look back on December 31st (okay, December 29th) and nothing much seems to have changed since January 1st. This is not one of those years for me. Of course, there were ups and downs. However, the downs turned out to be pretty insignificant and, frankly, due mostly to my own naivite. And, when I've made dumb choices (which I have on occasion during 2006), I was able to actually learn something right away, instead of years later as was my habit.

Then, there are the ups...and they've been great! I did spend the bulk of this year being overly busy, but I think that's what put so many things into motion. Now, I can start to slow things down and concentrate on what is really important.

So, I hope you all--all 10 or so who read this--had as wonderful a 2006 as I did. It will only get better in 2007!

And, now the final words of wisdom for 2006:
"What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal."
- Albert Pike

Tis the season....

2006-12-13T12:22:00.000-08:00

....to go postal!

So, at the call center at my company we have something called "peak staffing." Basically, there are more people on the phones during busy times. I know, it's a novel concept. And, apparently, it's one the US Postal Service cannot grasp.

At lunch time, I walked up to the closest post office to buy stamps for Christmas cards (yes friends and family, you will receive your cards in 2006 from me!) and mail a package off to my niece in Wisconsin. Now, this post office is in the midst of office buildings. No one actually *lives* in this area, we just all work here. And we all work sort of standard business hours--which means, everyone has lunch at about the same time. And what do people who work downtown do at lunch time? Run errands.

So, one would think, that this post office--which has virtually no business from 9:00am to 11:00am and then from 1:00pm to 5:00pm--would work their schedule so that the 5 employees there, who normally sit around and play checkers (or something like that) would take lunch at an off-hour so that they all could help customers during the 2 hours that people actually come to the post office. But NO! They send everyone to lunch so that there is only one person there at a time! Yeesh, and they wonder why FedEx is getting all their business.

Okay, enough ranting for now. I'll save my ranting for this weekend when we hit the mall. Oh, isn't December fun?

And, now, words of wisdom:
"I'm glad life isn't like a Christmas song, because if my friends and I were building a snowman and it suddenly came alive when we put a hat on it, I'd probably freak and stab it to death with an icicle.
-Matthew Perry

I'm only a month late!

2006-12-07T09:36:00.000-08:00

So much for being a good little blogger! Yes, I know I'm over a month late on updating! Shame on me! Well, maybe not.

Okay, there are 2 reasons why I haven't updated. First of all, my life as a student was being weighed down by a research paper looming in my future. The bad news is that it, or at least avoiding it, kept me from the computer. The good news is that I turned it in last night. Woo-hoo!

Reason #2. My life has been really, really, really good lately and, frankly, the blog (okay, blogs) has slipped a bit in my priorities. It happens! However, friends and family have been nagging me so I will try to do an update at the very least once a month so that everyone will stay off my back!

I may, however, be leaving blogspot. It's just that I might need something with a little more functionality. And, of course, I need to get rid of all the spammers! If that does happen, I'll let friends, family and faithful readers know! But, if you are one of my faithful readers and would like to be updated when I move, please email me at Sunflower1973@hotmail.com (it's my junk address...I don't want the spammers to find me!) and I'll put you on an update list.

Anyway, I hope that the holiday season is treating you all well! I will be updating again before the end of the year...I PROMISE!

And now, the quote:
There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.
-Josh Groban

New things!

2006-10-29T22:25:00.000-08:00

So, I've been bad about posting here...I know it! I do have a lot going on in my life so please bear with me for a while. But, one has to wonder...what should one do when they have trouble keeping their blog up to date? Well, start a second blog of course!

Actually, there is a second and there will be a third. One of the two main reasons I started this blog was to practice my writing. And, well, I'm an opinionated girl and I have lots of things to share! Two of my favorite things to talk about are books and movie. So, I'm going to start blogs for those two things so that I can spout off about other things here.

The first blog, I Paid Full Price for This?, has started. I'll update it as I see movies that have at least enough of an effect on me that I'll tell someone to pay full price, see it at a matinee, rent it or just not bother.

The second blog, which has yet to be named, will be about books. Once I've started it, it wil appear to the right under My OTHER Blogs...so pay attention!

Other things...I had a very enjoyable weekend! Chinese food on Friday night (yum!), Dim Sum Saturday morning (not so yum), a day bumming around with my friend, the Good Doctor, and then, today, running around a corn maze with the amazing kids in my youth group. I know not many people would volunteer to spend time with 6-8 graders, but these are really remarkable young people and I get such a kick out of them! Of course, when I'm a parent of children in that age range, I may not be singing the same tune!

And, on that note, the quote....
“Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.”
-Garrison Keillor

Hitting the road again...

2006-10-25T22:09:00.000-07:00

Between school, work and all that, life has been CRAZY! And, just when things gets crazy...they will end up getting crazier!

I'm being kicked out...I have to move! Okay, not for another 6 months, but it's still out there! And the reason? I have too much money! Can you believe that! Argh! I'm toying with buying something come May, but I think it would bemore feasible for me to rent for another year or so. And, on the upside, I do end up throwing a lot of junk away every time I move....

Anyway, because I'm now in a crazier state of mind...thanks to everything AND MOVING...that my mind picked up on some strange things while I was in the Discovery channel store today.

First of all, remember when we were kids and we had toy cash registers? Society was teaching us early to be spenders. Apparently, society is now teaching something else. They had toy ATMs. Really? I mean, that's just scary and, frankly, not very fun compared to cash register.

Then I found one of the more disturbing things that resides in the mall. It's called "Lovey the Lamb" and it's a stuffed animal lamb that smells like lavender. Sound nice, right? Well, that's what I thought, until I read the tag. Apparently, you are supposed to microwave the lamb to release the lavender qualities. Am I the only one who thinks this is sick and wrong? Yeesh!

Anyway, quote o' the day....
"Home is where the house is."
-Anonymous

I'm not done ranting yet!

2006-10-11T08:16:00.000-07:00

In light of the NCAA's enlightened decision that William and Mary's two feathers were an insult to humanity, I have some claims *I* would like to make against sports teams.
1. Notre Dame's Fighting Irish. As an Irish-American I am deeply troubled by Notre Dame's claim that we are all drunk brawlers (even if we are--okay, some of us. I neither get drunk nor brawl...at least that I can recall).
2. The Vikings and all school and professional teams who claim this mascot. I am also a Norwegian-American and it is a historical fact that Vikings did not have horns on their helmets. This is a 19th century invention that I find very insulting and I feel that all these teams and organizations, including my own high school, should immediately redesign their mascots and logos.
3. The Boston Celtics. As anyone who has graduated 9th grade knows that it is pronounced with a hard C (like Keltics) not "Seltics." Continuing the mispronounciation only further insults all of us drunk brawling Irish-Americans.
4. The Washington Redskins. After all, I can't see how "Redskins" cannot be considered hostile and abusive if two freakin' feathers are.

"We are required to hold fast to our values whether the NCAA does so or not."
- Gene Nichols, President of The College of William and Mary

When you need to stoop to the level of morons

2006-10-10T21:56:00.000-07:00

Today I received an email from the president of my alma mater. Apparently, the NCAA has a bone to pick with them. In order to be appropriately politically correct, the NCAA decided that they must do a full examination of all college mascots and logos. Well, apparently our mascot (I guess it's a mascot) is okay...we're the "Tribe," which means community and trust and all that.

That's the good news. The bad news is that our logo was found to be "hostile and abusive" and, unless we wanted to be banned from every frickin' sporting event for the rest of the millenia, we need to change it. So, what was it that was so "hostile and abusive"? Two feathers.

Yes, that's right. These two feathers are apparenty threatening people everywhere to the point that they can't sleep at night. Yeah, whatever. So, the university decided--wisely, but it still pisses me off--not to fight this because their money is better spent on academics. That, my friends, is the sign of a good school!

If you want to read more of this ridiculous claim by the nobheads at the NCAA, you can go here. Meanwhile, I'm off to find all the two-feathered memorablia that I can get my hands on.

And now, a fitting quote:
“Hypocrisy in anything whatever may decieve the cleverist and most penetrating man, but the least wide-awake of children recognizes it and is revolted by it, however ingeniously it may be disguised."
-Leo Tolstoy

For my Trekkie friends and, ahem, family members (you know who you are!)

2006-10-08T21:30:00.000-07:00

Stressful day!

2006-10-03T21:27:00.000-07:00

And I'm not really sure why. I guess there are just some days that are easier than others and today was not one of them. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't a bad day, it was just, well, stressful.

Oh, but I do have to send out birthday wishes to Aabra--she's 33 like the rest of us now. My mother once told me that adolescence ends when you are 32 so I guess it's time that we all grow up. Damn.

Here's the daily nugget:
"There is no season when such pleasant and sunny spots may be lighted on, and produce so pleasant an effect on the feelings, as now in October."
-Nathaniel Hawthorne

Observations on a train

2006-10-02T21:58:00.000-07:00

I'm getting a new cell phone in December...my contract is up and my carrier wants to keep me so I'm supposed to get a good deal. I think I may have to get a camera phone. I have a camera--and I love photography--but there are just moments when you need a camera and it's not there.

I ran up to Powell's today at lunch to pick up a book and I found myself standing next to a culinary student on the train. Like all other culinary students, he was wearing the white shirt and checkered pants and then I noticed something. Instead of having a breast pocket, he had a pocket on his sleeve. And, in addition to the pocket guard, pens and pencil, there was a meat thermometer. For some reason, I found this oddly amusing. Go figure.

And now, your words of wisdom:
"Don't be reckless with people's hearts, don't put up with those reckless with yours."
-Mary Schmich

Another Carmel Pic

2006-10-01T22:06:00.000-07:00

God made the cat so that man might have the pleasure of caressing the tiger.
-Anonymous

No time to chat....

2006-09-30T22:37:00.000-07:00

...I'm trapped in the dungeon that is studying, so no time to chat today. Here's my quote 'o the day!

There are no accidents. God is just trying to remain anonymous.
- Anonymous (coincidence?)

Public Service Announcement

2006-09-29T22:44:00.000-07:00

This is a public service announcement—one I wish I had received before lunchtime today!

I’m currently reading The Black Dahlia by James Ellroy. It’s a pretty good book (apparently far better than the movie from what I hear) and it’s keeping my interest when my mind really should be on the ins and outs of Human Resources. It’s a fictional story based on the factual unsolved and heinous murder of Elizabeth Short in Los Angeles, who became known as the Black Dahlia.

So, I’m at Borders today during lunch to peruse the paperbacks which I should not buy. Then I notice a book called something like The Black Dahlia Files. It’s written by some guy whose previous books include one insinuating that JFK and the mob did in Marilyn Monroe. Well, this piece of, um, investigative journalism, attempts to prove the theory that the mob did in Elizabeth Short. But, more importantly, it has pictures.

I thought it would be interesting to see what Elizabeth Short looked like and boy, oh boy did I find out. Without any warning, this book contained the actual CRIME SCENE PICTURES! Yes, there was the bisected and cored body of the Black Dahlia, her chopped up face and then, if that wasn’t enough, crime scene and autopsy photos of several other murders!

Hello, could there not be a warning? I mean even CNN is nice enough to put a warning out before the show anything of potentially objectionable content. (I’m not sure if the content is actually objectionable since I usually opt not to take the chance and switch over to the Food Network). And this book was right there on the front table, where anyone over 3 feet tall could have gotten to it!

I’m not saying, exactly, that the pictures should not have been published. Okay, out of decency they should not have been published. What my gripe is that anyone just browsing would have been subjected to that. Honestly, did it really belong on the front table? If someone is really that interested in mutilated corpses, they need to be shopping in the back of the bookstore. Now I face a sleepless night—thanks so much Borders!

And now, on a light note, my favorite quote of the day!

One of the greatest diseases is to be nobody to anybody.
-Mother Theresa

Was it this scary the first time around?

2006-09-28T22:12:00.000-07:00

I'm still in shock. I'm still quivering in my shoes from fear. You know when the Cowardly Lion goes to see the Wizard and runs away in fear? That's me.

I was never very good at studying. As a product of the sub-standard Oregon Public Schools, I made it through school--and graduated in the top 10 in my class. That's not the top 10%, but the top 10 students in my class. Actually, I should have graduated in the top 7 or so, but the story of the imposter valedictorian is for another post. Anyway, I never studied. Then I went to William and Mary, which is a damn good school. Damn good schools are also damn hard schools and all of a sudden I had to study. I didn't know how.

Well, after four years of panic attacks, I did get it down. Then I stopped going to school for 11 years and now I'm back at it and there will need to be studying!

The difference now is that I'm only taking one class this term (and a seminar) and I'm working at least 50 hours a week. On top of that, I have church responsibilities and social events. And I'm going to have to make this all work. Man, college seems a lot easier now that I think about it!

Anyway, back to quote of the day....it's an anonymous one and it made me laugh. However, to any of my relatives who may be reading this, don't take it too seriously!

"Friends are God's way of apologizing for our families.
-Anonymous

I'm allliiiiiivvvveeee!

2006-09-27T21:57:00.000-07:00

Yes, I have been absent. No, I'm not still in mourning over the Crocodile Hunter! Basically it's just been crazy on this side of things. And I'm a student AGAIN! Ack! There is alot to report--or at least to rant about. I promise that my usual gibberish will be back soon.

I have a weakness for good quotes...funny ones, touching ones, insightful ones. Here's one for you all to ponder until I think of something better to write.

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."
- Maria Robinson (whoever the heck that is)

The world is just a bit less wacky now

2006-09-04T18:38:00.000-07:00

"I have no fear of losing my life - if I have to save a koala or a crocodile or a kangaroo or a snake, mate, I will save it. "
-Steve Irwin, 1962-2006

Heaven in a glass

2006-08-26T22:32:00.000-07:00

Somethings are meant to be together. Peanut butter and jelly. Macaroni and cheese. Butter and popcorn. Garlic and mashed potatoes. Today, I found another paring that, frankly, rocked my world.

First, let me set the stage. I went hiking with MiPL on a hike that, while I have done several times, I haven't done in the past couple of years. It was not what I would consider a good hike. Yes, the view at the top was beautiful, but I struggled a bit too much with it. The bulk of this struggle was due to the fact that I haven't been hiking as much as I should of late and, well, hills are harder than they used to be. However, I can also place a significant dollup of blame on the fact that I had the world's crappiest pair of hiking shoes--no support and no traction (and, at the end of the day, I spent FAR too much money at REI!) That, however, is not the point of this post. Really, the only thing you need to know here is that, when I got back to the trail head, I was hot, tired and hungry!

As is the tradition of many Columbia River Gorge hikers, the apres-hike gathering was at McMenamin's Edgewater. Not known for it's stellar service or food, this bastion of mediocrity has been the one thing that kept me going through some more challenging hikes--today included!

And there it was...on the menu. The one combination that I would never have considered but that, as I said earlier, rocked my world. A chocolate milkshake with beer.

To be fair, it wasn't just any beer but McMenamin's Terminator stout. To continue with the fairness, I think any stout would work for those of you who want to try this at home. Of course, the milkshake was made with real ice cream (vanilla, with good old Hershey's syrup). I cannot begin to describe this bit of heaven! A milkshake with a kick...who can beat that? Fat, Sugar and alcohol--3 of the 4 major food groups in one (we had tater tots as appetizers so I was able to consume that 4th food group--salt).

And for those of you who can't stomach stout (or, for some demented reason, chocolate), they also had the Raspberry Ruby Milkshake--a raspberry milkshake with Ruby ale.

Who knew? Honestly, if someone had said, "Here try this milkshake and beer thing!" I probably would have tossed the drink in their face. But, when experiencing a slight dementia brought on by over exertion, you can sometimes find a treasure.

Goals and crap like that

2006-08-13T21:04:00.000-07:00

So, I'm just finishing up Bill Bryson's A Walk in the Woods. For those of you who haven't read it...you really should. But, basically, it's about a middle aged guy who decides to hike the Appalachian Trail. Despite the fact that he--and his companion--are not at all suited for such an excursion, it really is an inspiring book. The Green Turtle actually did thru-hike the trail after reading this book--and I'm sure that he left a trail of letterboxes from Georgia to Maine!

But it got me thinking...if Bill can do this, could I? I'm not saying that I'm going to, or even wanting to, but would it even be in the realm of possibility? I guess so. I mean I'm in fairly good shape...I've never been camping (yet) but I've done my share of hiking. And really, the mountains on the east coast are nothing compared to what we have out here.

Speaking of out here, we do have the Pacific Crest Trail. The Green Turtle is saying he is going to thru-hike it next year and the Gear Head talks about hiking it. The truth is I have hiked it. Well, part of it. Sort of. Okay, not really.

There is a small section of the trail on Mt. Hood called Paradise Peak and, last year, I went with a group to give it a try. It starts at Timberline Lodge and goes around a glacier to some wonderful viewpoint and then you come back the way you came. Sounds easy enough, right?

Wrong! This was the first hike I was unable to finish. It was hell! I only made it half way before having to turn back and going back was just as hard, if not harder, than going out. The only thing that kept me going was the fact that at the end was Timberline lodge and the promise of overpriced alcohol. Then, to add insult to injury, someone who left the trailhead when I did and hiked the whole trail still made it back to the Lodge before I did.

Well, the shame was more than I could take. So, I vowed that the next year on the same weekend I would do this trail again and do the whole thing. That weekend was last weekend and I spent the weekend far away from the hiking trails. So much for that.

But now, reading Bryson, I feel guilty. Really, I shouldn't let something like a measly 2,650 mile hiking tail get the best of me--especially when I only plan to hike 6 miles of it. So, now--publicly to the dozen or so of you who read this--I vow that I will successfully hike the Paradise Peak portion of the Pacific Crest Trail next year during the first weekend of August.

Of course, there are some extenuating circumstances that would keep me off the trail:
1) Injury. Yes, something hurts, I won't go. I learned the hard way to take care of injuries! Last week I dropped a shampoo bottle on my foot while in the shower. I had a bruise, but ignored it and continued to wear 3 inch heels around. As a results, I was limited to flats for the past 3 days. Oh, the tragedy!
2) Bad weather, which means anything too hot, too cold or too wet.
3) Something better happening that weekend.

But, if none of those 3 things occur, I promise to be on the mountain in 51 weeks trying to make it to Paradise Peak!

The Most Guarded Secret of Judaism

2006-07-31T22:19:00.000-07:00

When I lived in Boston, I was introduced to Judaism. I mean, I knew the basics of the faith, the history, etc. What I had not yet experienced was the food! Cadbury Creme Eggs don't come close to some of the delicacies I sampled there. Chief among these culinary creations was chicken matzo ball soup. My friend Michelle made a killer soup--and never gave me the recipe.

I've only found 2 places in the Portland metro area that have chicken matzo ball soup and neither of them come close to what I found in Boston. So, I figured that I should be able to find a good recipe somewhere on the internet. After all, you can find anything on the internet, right?

WRONG!

I found some rather dull matzo ball soup recipes, but no specifically chicken soup recipes. Nothing! So, I have to wonder, is there some rule that Shiksas can't have the chicken matzo ball soup recipe? Is it the proverbial secret handshake of Jewish women and they'll do anything to keep the secret out of the hand of gentiles? This is America...aren't we passed all that religious warfare stuff (at least here in the USA)?

How about this...I'll trade you a hot cross buns AND a buche de Noel recipe for your chicken matzo ball soup? Sound good? Pleeeaaaasssee??????

Random Thoughts from a Crazy Week

2006-07-29T10:23:00.000-07:00

The good news: I'm still alive. The bad news: It's only Saturday morning!

Okay, it's not nearly as bleak as all that. Since Wednesday, I've been spending evenings teaching Vacation Bible School and my class just happens to be 2nd and 3rd graders. The kids are wonderful--and cute beyond belief--but I am exhausted! How do parents of quintuplets do this? Heck, how do teachers do this?

So, VBS and all the work that just landed on me at the office this week have kept me away from the blog, but since I have a free moment I thought I'd post a fleeting account of some of the wackier things that stuck in my head over the week.

The Business of Sleep
This is incredibly timely for me this week--I heard a story on NPR about a very enterprising man in New York City. This man, whose name I do not remember, started a business that filled a particular need. He opened sleeping boutiques. These "boutiques" serve the busy working drone who is, well, tired. They can go into one of these establishments and sleep.

My initial reaction to this was, "What a fabulous idea!" Of course, it was early in the morning and I was still half asleep myself. Once I had gained a bit more consciousness I realized that there was something very wrong with all this. Obviously, Americans are too busy, too burdened. I think we all can agree on this. However, when the need was recognized, it seems America's first thought was a business opportunity and NOT that perhaps there might actually be a problem in society. Could it be, just possibly, that we are overworked? That the drive of capitalism might actually be to our detriment? Of course, this same capitalistic drive is what led to the sleeping boutiques...that and the fact that we're tired.

Topics of conversations--take one
As I said, I spent the bulk of this week with 2nd and 3rd graders--mostly boys. I thought I was prepared. I mean, I don't think anyone can really be prepared for THAT, but I at least thought I knew enough of them to know that they would be obsessed with boogers. Admittedly, boogers were in the top five of favored conversation topics. However, what these boys were really wild about were toilet plungers. I am told this has something to do with a certain Captain Underpants.....

Topics of conversations--take two
A co-worker and I apparently shocked to male co-workers this week. We are, after all, apparently quite foul. Here was the conversation:
Co-Worker: "Cute shoes!"
Me: "Thanks! I got them at....." yada yada yada.
After about 2 minutes of discussing footwear, we noticed the two men about ready to vomit.

Really? Shoes are that bad? I mean, it's not like we were talking about our menstrual cycles or commitment or anything else that the male species finds terrifying! Are shoes now a taboo topic? If so, then men should cease all car talk in the presence of women. Trust me, THAT is only fair!

Mortality
I only received one piece of mail yesterday and it was junk mail. To add insult to injury, it was an add from a cremation service! Is there something about to happen that I should know about?

Weekend fun!

2006-07-22T22:07:00.000-07:00

A quick post tonight...I'm still recovering from the strange phenomenon of humidity here in Oregon. I spent the day down at the Salem Art Fair, ran into some old friends, bought some soap, ate a Chi Yo...it's all good.

First off, if you've been following this blog for a while--or gone back into the archive--you know about my dad, the "Guberif". Well, the Gear Head sent me a link to someone just as fascinated with that strange saying on the roads of Idaho but chose a slightly more creative outlet than acting silly and spouting off "Don't be a Guberif!" The site, ironically enough, is www.guberif.com. Really!

Secondly, this landed in my email box on Friday afternoon from the mastermind of TofuPunk. It's a necessary read/listen for all women who think they've been on the worst date ever. You haven't. Enjoy!

Nifty new products

2006-07-18T22:32:00.000-07:00

First off, I told someone I would post something about conspiracy theories tonight. And I will post that in the future, but I just heard something on the television that caused a quick change of plans. Don't worry, my "conspiracy theory" belief will be here soon but I need to brew up some ideas for those who might need help finding their own theory.

Anyway, as I was chasing Carmel around the apartment (trying to get him good and exhausted so he wouldn't keep me up all night!), I heard a commercial for a product I would never have expected. It's a training toilet for little boys called a "Peter Potty." Now, I admit, I laughed. Alot. I mean, it's funny! It's a training urinal! What isn't funny about that!

My first thought is that someone probably had a lot of time on their hands to think that up. Then I realized that the opposite was probably true. What probably happened is some harried mom who just got sick of cleaning the bathroom after one of her son's potty training sessions realized that urinal was definitely in order. Whoever that woman is, I hope she makes a fortune off this.

It also reminded me of an article I saw in a magazine at the hair dressers. At my salon, they have only the following magazines: Modern Bride, Elegant Bride, Traditional Bride, Portland Bride and, of course, Bride's Magazine. This is, admittedly, a bit awkward for the single girl but, hey, if you've got to read something, it certainly beats Guns and Ammo. Anyway, one of them--I can't remember which and, really, does it matter?--had a whole section on maternity bridal gowns. And these weren't for the first trimester brides either. So, my first thought--which I think was actually my mother's voice--was, "What has the world come to?" But then I realized that this is not a bad thing. You know what? Some couples get pregnant before they get married. It's a fact just like there are college freshmen who get drunk. It doesn't matter what you think about it--it happens. So, why should these women be shamed into having to wear ugly blue dresses that look like tents. My guess is that everyone at the wedding probably knows that baby is about to make three, so why shouldn't the bride have a nice dress?

So, I'm calling for a shout out here, as long as you aren't spamming me, leave a comment and tell us what product or idea first struck you as crazy but then, after some thought, you came to the conclusion that it might be a good idea....